Kimja by Day

The American Irony

2011-05-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Our country is viewed by others to be extremely proud. And, I suppose this is true, but not without good reason. Since we managed to defeat the British in the Revolutionary War against the odds or whatever. (I was not very attentive in American history)And since then, we've been kind of awesome in combat, if I'm right. (I hope I am, lol.)

But, one of the greatest ironies is that with America being one of the countries where most everybody can have food and stuff, people are starving themselves and vomiting. Now, I'm tired, so I'm writing in a very sterile way, please don't think I'm uncaring... But it is a huge irony. If you didn't have the option of food everyday, you probably wouldn't have an ED.

And this moves on to how the media shows people. I remember an episode of Family Guy where Peter goes to visit his father in Ireland. While in a drunken stupor, his father asked why he wasn't attractive, like most Americans. I thought of this before I started this post. Because if people from other countries think all Americans are supposed to be beautiful, and so many girls have low self-esteem.

Like, seriously, 90% of the girls I know hate themselves, or, more, their physical appearance.

I was just thinking about this. I find it ironic. Saddeningly so.

Today my friend and I walked around the cemetery about a mile away from our houses

2011-05-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

We brushed off stones covered in grass, and put rocks on the tombstone of a 20-year-old boy. Afterwards, we saw the heart-shaped grave of a fifteen-year-old girl with her picture attached. Her mother was buried next to her. We also saw the minute grave of an infant, marked only with the letter A on the top. Not to mention, a masoluem from 1892, with it’s door wide open, the wrought-iron bars letting us see inside. Few things have been more…queerly terrifying in my life. We stayed there a half an hour, and saw so many sites with just markers and dirt. I just kept thinking “zombie” as we stood by those sites, then reprimanding myself for such disrespect. There’s no point to this, but I think these people would’ve been happy we remembered them when the rest of the world has forgotten.

But, I’m just thinking of that boy and girl. I want to know their stories. I want to know them. I want to avoid an early grave.

You Know What I Love?

2011-04-24T00:59:00.000-07:00

I love Fuckin' Perfect (Guys Version) By Travis Garland.

I love it more than I love Peruvian flan, wrestlers, and platinum blonde guys.

It is fourth only to Phantom of the Opera, My Top 3 Disney movies (Little Mermaid, HERCULES, and Peter Pan.), ninjas, and being extra version olive oil.

Top 5 Favorite Makeup Products

2011-04-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

1) Lancome Dual Finish Powder
Perfect. Makes my skin like a porcelain doll. Which works because my shade is Porcelain Delicate, a pale color with a rose tint to it. This, even without concealer, makes my skin look amazing, all day. With just two swipes, it takes away the bags under my eyes. (10% Natural, 40% Tired, 50% leftover eyeliner.)
Find it: At the Lancome Counter in any department store

2) DuWop BlushBooster
Warning: Not for the large-pored. What I love about this, besides it's flattering peachy-pink shade (I use Mango, but want to try every color) is that it's exactly wht you think it is. Too many times I've picked up a pink blush to have it trun my cheek brown. And I know, that I will never have to worry about that with this.
Find it: At the DuWop website. (I got mine as a gift from my godmother.)

3) Lancome Definicils Mascara
High-end mascara that actually works. I don't knopw why, but mascaras always stop working for me after about a month. Definicils and I have been going strong since Christmas. My lashes are long, but thin, and this mascara once got me compliments from over ten people in one day. Honestly, I find that impressive.
Find it: Look at #1

4) Avon Ultra Color Rich Lipstick in Sparkling Warm Rose
The color choice, a beyond pale pink, is very specific for me. Two coats of this stuff, MAX, or you'll end up looking like a crazy aunt. But I love it. Love the hydration.
Find it: Avon.com

5) Revlon Color Stay Liquid Eyeliner
Liquid liner is the future, now. Perfect fluid lines that don't smear when done (correctly) on the waterline, amazing wings without the awkward dashes of pencil liner. But, the thing is, you know what it's like when a black marker begins to lose it's strength? That's what a liquid pen is like. Go for the pot; it also lasts a long, long time! Think of it this way: I do my eyeliner the way Taylor Swift does. Liquid. YES. Andd, no need to splurge here!
Find it: At your local drugstore.

Day of Silence

2011-04-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

So, people on Tumblr and otherwise are in an uproar about the Day of Silence for the LGBT community. My school is actively supporting the campaign as well.

And many people are going to try and fail. They're going to try and fail because no one can keep silent for long. Not even a homicide of suicide is a successful form of silencing. It creates an uproar about the issue, even if the victims aren't there to speak of it. Another reason I think that this is so hard to do is because no one defends themselves when they can't speak. And I'm the type of person who likes to take my time and words to make a valid point.

This type of event, is it to show support or stop hate? Because half of the people who do this are going to forget it by Saturday. They'll do it because it's PC. For the haters, it won't do jack shit to remove the hate from their souls.

No one can depend on the silent support of one day. If anyone who is a part of the LGBTQ community depened on one day, they'd be crushed the rest of the time. You need to lean on the support that you have everyday.

As a matter of fact, silence is a reason WHY people are stepped all over. If you never stand up for yourself, no one's going to respect you out there in the big bad world. Do you think that because people were quiet, Congress is going to listen to the pin of social alienation drop?

My best friend brought up the point that a day like this seperates LGBTQs more from the rest of the public. And, thinking about this, I agree. It's a target for hate as much as it is a target for healing. EVERY DAY should be a day of support and tolerance. And I don't think being quiet about it is the way to go. This is the time for an uproar, a revolution of society. I know I support LGBTQs every single day. We all should.

Now, comment me, let me know. Love my view, or hate it, I want to see how you feel.

3 in 1 Post Day!

2011-04-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

Day 12: Bullet Your Whole Day

•Ignore alarm
•Get up
•Spend an hour finding an outfit
•Do makeup and other hygenic things
•Run to catch bus
•Listen to iPod, singing Eminem/ Taylor Swift/ The Script lyrics to self
•Arrive at school, wander with Leya
•Classes
•Study hall with Jon and Spads
•Gibby and Ferraro
•Luch/ Coach Mike
•Classes
•Studyhall with mah brooos
•Middle school bus
•Home, sleep
•Food
•HW
•Shower
•Sleep

Now, my new description on Tumblr, which I based off of the lovely Ms. Camille. Here's her link: http://c-of-enchantment.tumblr.com/

I like writing, the bay, cameos, makeup, mermaids, dresses, waist-holding, lilacs, black and white cookies, psychology, sparkles, cellos, empire waists, fairytales, hunter green, art, Lord and Taylor, Keds, theology, unicorns, dreaming, interior design, music, and the word clandestine.

And, yes, I'm always this wordy(:

Now, for the last, a little bot of dreaming<3

The thing about you is… You’re the only person I could imagine twisting my neck to see leave class, or skip 5th period to see in the commons. The only person that always looks gorgeous, even when everyone else looks like colorless saps in this relaist world. You don’t know me, I mean, you know my brother; our brothers are pretty close. Is it creepy that seeing you gives my tummy butterflies? I feel like I’m living in a Taylor Swift song. I feel so INVISBLE. If someone that could help knew, and not someone I know would screw with me, I’d beg and cry on my knees for nothing other than to meet you. Because I hear you’re really nice. Most good wrestlers are.

There, I have compensated for missing two days.

Faith, Trust...And Artsy Stuff?

2011-04-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

I've been experiencing some really extreme emotions lately, when it comes to faith and religion. I feel like my surroundings influence my feelings. When I'm with my (numerous) Atheist friends, I tend to be more reserved with my hopeful idea of faith. Yet know, I feel so at peace with God as I listen to the Kate Voegele version of Hallelujah, one of my favorite songs.

I'm just so ashamed that I would let the way other people feel influende how I feel about God, whether I have a strong faith or not. (I most certainly do not have a strong sense of belief.)

I have seen the most intricate forms of creation and expression, whenther it be painting, writing, or creating their own systems of beliefs, which is obviously the most personal form of faith.

Most religions are based off of each other in many ways, as my study of Global History has made even more clear to me this year. And I believe that there has to be some truth to the Bible, etc. I mean, many of the stories are written on such a personal way.

I want to believe someone loves me. You know?

PS: Challenge was an iPod shuffle-thing. I already did one of those on here. :)

Day 10-- Your first love and first kiss

2011-04-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

I refuse to even go there.

Day 9-- How you hope your future will be.

2011-04-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

Happy

Day 8 and something you should see

2011-04-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Day 8-- A moment when you felt most satisfied with your life
I’m almost embarassed to say, but it was probably this year, when I finally had a boy, and he was around enough and it was my first real, legit relationship. I love the feeling of arms around my waist, and honestly, when that happens, I couldn’t be happier. There’s something so safe and warm. I’m far from a complete person, but that certainly helps me feel like more than I actually am.

I think beyond my fear of rejection and reality, I’m just a scared little romantic who wants nothing more than for someone to see beyond the attention-grabbing loudmouthed thing that is my terrified little facade. There’s something so thrilling for me in every kiss, every endearment. I pour over crappy Danielle Steel novels. (Jewels FTW!)

A perfect moment will be when the right person unexpectedly grabs me, holds me, and says…

Whatever I need to hear from him.

I also saw this on Tumblr and thought you should all see this:

This message is for every girl who goes to work, school, or home alone.

If you find a child crying on the road showing his/her address & asking you to take him/her to that address, immediately take that child to the police station and ABSOLUTELY NOT to the address.

This is a new way to gang rape girls.

Please reblog this message in order to help make girls aware of this sick & twisted method of tricking girls into getting raped.

Don’t be shy to reblog this message, as this 1 message can save the lives of many girls

I just wanted you to all be aware. For further information regarding my feelings towards this, you can look at my post from last September. I'm prett sure it's titled SPEAK NOW or something. And no, not like the Taylor Swift song, as much as I love her. It has to do with a Twitter trend that has to do with Laurie Halse Anderson's novel SPEAK, and some banning that occured. THANKS LOVES<3

Day Whatever

2011-04-03T18:52:00.001-07:00

Your Zodiac sign and if it fits you personality.

My birthday is May 14th, and I am a Taurus. Even with the new astrological signs, I’m still a Taurus by one day. Can you say winning? I can. WINNING.

I’m on another tab, looking up the personality traits of Taurus and I’m thinking this is complete bullshit. It says Taurus rarely gets stressed or frazzled. and I am constantly in a panic over anything and everything. However, I am aware of how much strength I possess, but I’ve learned to hold back and strengthen my self-control, knowing that my extensive vocabulary can shock a person just as much as my fist.

I do love food, and I was an angry child, known to go and abuse other people (namely, my brother) simply because I could, or over dumb things. I am overall obedient, somewhat outspoken, but also painfully shy at times. I can be very selfish, and I love material items. I’m also very lazy.

All in all, I am a Taurus by simple definition, but I am also outside of the realm. I am not a middle-ground student; I’m high Honors. And I am most certainly not of the Earth. In my heart or hearts, I belong to the Water.

Charity Cases

2011-04-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: No reposting of my Tumblr challenge today because the challenge is 30 Interesting Facts. About a week ago, I posted one hundred on here. I'm just going to be lifting facts from there.

So, that time where I come a bit closer to revealing my true location to the world of the Internet. If you use this against me, especially because of the content of this blog post, you are a hideous person, yada, yada, yada...

So, for the second time, my two best friends, Morgen and Sofia and I will be participating in the Marai Fareri Children's Hospital Go The Distance Walk. I know, that name is long, but Maria Fareri Children's Hospital is at Westchester Medical Center. (Yes, I live in Westchester County NY, but where? You'll never know, Internet pervs! Mwahaha) The walk is in 8 days. And, yeah, it's a charity walk and each team of people competing works to raise money to support the hospital.

And the reason I decided to talk to you guys about this is because I asked my little brother what to blog about. After "horrible school lunches" he reccommened that I write about his plan to shave his head bald to support cancer. Now, I'm not sure how that would help, but don't you think it's beautiful that a little boy with gorgeous highlighted surfer-boy hair like his would be willing to shave it all off to support children suffering more than him.

BVOA, Day 1, Challenge, Day 5

2011-04-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

BVOA= Blog Very Often April. I will not make a commitment that I can't keep on this blog anymore.

I would show you my most recent Challenge, but I basically redirected my Tumblr followers to the Statement of Belief I wrote back in February. NBD.

But I have another one I did while writing this post and talking to so many people on Facebook about what's wrong with their lives that I feel day number 5 is strangely appropriate.

Day 5- A time when you were thoroughly miserable with life.

As I sit in a crowded, happy kitchen, it is especially difficult and painful to recount the times of total isolation of pain.

Now, there was a time in seventh grade where I was miserable, depressed and reclusive beyond what anyone who knows me now will believe. I spent hours, sitting alone, writing because no one would listen, there was no one I could talk about and I was all-around distraught with life.

Honestly, unless I know you really well, quite personally, I don’t want to talk about it.

Day 3

2011-03-30T15:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I neglected to mention that the challenge was "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" Today is "Your opinion on drugs and alcohol."

My brother just flicked a fucking pencil in my face, my mom’s just being angry and I’m in a fucking awful mood, so let’s get this over with.

My opinion on drugs is that they’re illegal for a reason. They’re illegal because they damage your body and mind and make you an unstable person without the ability to function correctly. However, and I know this is hypocritical, but I’d like to start smoking. CIGARETTES. Because of how they increase your metabolism and help you lose weight. I hate the number on the scale and just want it to go away.

Alcohol is fine, as long as you don’t abuse it. But I also feel like if you’re something like a wino, it’s going to change your personality so it’s always on your mind. Because alcohol is a drug, too. I just don’t think it’s bad when used responsibly.

Day 2

2011-03-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

I’m a month and a half away from my fifteenth birthday, so let’s just round and say that I’ll be 25 in ten years.

In a fantasy world, I’ve graduated college and have begun in a respectable place within the career I have chosen. I’m also either in a commited relationship, or engaged or married. I definitely want to start having kids sooner rather than later because of all of the health risks associated with pregnancies at older ages.

I mean, I know what I would want from domestic life, but that’s another post.

PS: There's a lot I plan to do before those ten years; I'm not just planning to have babies.

Soo, heyy...

2011-03-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

I feel so removed from Kimja... I mean, this is by no means a popular blog on the interwebs, but it is the first form of social networking connection I had to strangers. Twitter, Formspring, Dailybooth, Tumblr, and others have followed within the last fifteen months.

No, I'm not leaving you guys. Not yet, at least. Far from it, actually, as you will see by this post. I plan on doing ANOTHER Tumblr Challenge on here. I know it'll work out this time because I'm on Tumblr like crazy, and all of my posts will basically be copied and pasted onto this blog, so anyone who cares enough to learn about me will be able to easier find the information.

Today, since I already did Day 1, I'll post it here:

Day 1--Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.
I’mma single lady, I’mma single lady.

I mean, being single is fine, but I’d love a relationship. I don’t have one, single, clearly defined crush right now, but I’m interested and really considering the potential in relationships with some guys. But, I think I’ll just wait. A couple of people know one of the guys, but two of the other guys I’m thinking about, no one should have any clue. If I ever really, really like a guy, I can’t keep my mouth shut. And, you know, this isn't love, but definite infatuation.

So, I’m alone, but hopeful and optimistic.

I won't even explain what happened between me and my last boyfriend, who was mentioned on here several times.

My Fictional Neighbor

2011-03-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Wednesday is a ‘Blog Carnival,’ where we post a weekly writing- or reading-related question. We'd love for you to participate! Just answer the prompt on your own blog and leave a link in the comments - or, if you prefer, you can include your answer in the comments. You can hop from destination to destination and get everybody's unique take on the topic.

This week's topic: What book character would you most like as your next-door neighbor?

I've read a load of books in my life, so this is really difficult. But, you all know me well enough to not be surprised that I pick Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's. She's suc a fun character, and the neighbor of the narrator, who adores her as well.

Of course, she ends up breaking his heart, but being a girl would make being her neighbor much more fun. She'd totally be my wing-girl. Being a "Girl-About-The-Town" gave her enormous access to parties, and dates, and clothes.

And, girl-to-girl, you could have some amazing deep conversations. There were hints to sexual abuse, and other difficulties in her life and that gave her a depth beyond her superficial appearance. And that's why I chose her.

100 Facts About Me--Inspired by a Twitter Trend

2011-03-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

1) My middle name is Ann and my Confirmation name is Susanna. Okay, you can stop laughing now.
2) I'm a Phantom of the Opera fanatic.
3)I hate me body, namely, my lovehandles.
4) My favorite books series is the Mediator series by Meg Cabot. Go read it. Now.
5) I love Sex and the City and my favorite character is Charlotte, followed closely by Carrie.
6) My ideal mate is a blonde.
7) My dream job is to be an interior designer.
8) Or modelling.
9) I believe in love.
10) I'm unbelievably lazy.
11) Black, white, and red is the best color combo ever.
12) Iced Chai is the best drink ever. But it has to be from Starbucks.
13) Pink is an amazing color.
14) Audrey Hepburn is my idol.
15) I really want to, against my better judgment, take up smooookinggggg.
16) Armani models are the most gorgeous men alive.
17) I would kill for an iPhone.
18) Shoes are VERY important.
19) I plan on marrying either an Irish or Scottish man.
20) When I was a little kid, I would've killed to be a ginger.
21) I have over 100 scars on my legs.
22) My favorite place is the Internet.
23) I forge close relationships with my teachers because they're the only people that aren't totally infantile.
24) Pancakes are amazing.
25) I love all genres of music.
26) Eyeliner is a life saver.
27) I don't like my face.
28) I don't understand why people think it's so cute when I say the word "skeevy."
29) My favorite poet is Lord Byron. By far. No competition.
30) I know the whole first stanza of SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY by heart.
31) Fairy Tales are my favorite type of story.
32) I think Gail Carson Levine is a literary genius.
33) Law and Order SVU is one of my favorite shows.
34) I can't stand Titanic's unhappy ending.
35) I used to read Calvin and Hobbes like a Belieber read the boy's biography.
36) Cheese is one of my favorite foods.
37) I've been asking my mom to get me cream puffs for three and a half months and she has yet to get me any.
38) I really wanna use hashtags on Facebook.
39)Junior guys are my favorite because they're all so chill.
40) Trying to change myself for a boy is one huge regret of mine.
41) My last relationship was a soul-suckin, spirit-draining experience, but I refused to acknowledge it becaise I was afraid of being the "bad guy."
42) One of my proudest moments was when a friend of my parents called my blog, "brilliant."
43) I used to want to work as a Marie Claire editor. Now I'm completely unsure.
44) I'd rather have a white picket fance than a successful career.
45) I want to be a mermaid when I grow up.
46) Or a princess.
47) I'm totally insecure about my eyebrows.
48) I'm blind. like, I legit cannot see without beyond powerful contacts that also correct astigmatism.
49) Im censoring this because I'm afraid my mother will see it.
50) I've never read Harry Potter.
51) Angel is the sexiest vampire ever.
52) I have this crazy idea the Nintendo should make a Mario theme park.
53) I'm terrified of beng unloved, ugly and overwieght when I'm older.
54) I hate glasses.
55) Dailybooth is my favorite social networking website. Even if it is the most creeper-ful one.
56) Formspring makes me laugh.
57) ModCloth is amazing.
58) I'm going to see Phantom of the Opera on Tuesday and I am so psyched!
59) My first duty is to my family. My second is to my friends. But Morgen is family.
60) I'm allergic to all blackhead cleansers.
61) I want to leanr Farsi.
62) I love Brooklyn accents.
63) I hate being blamed for things I haven't done. HATE.
64) My family is a big bully. I mean it. I lvoe them, but they're bullies.
65) I really want te sparkle Uggs.
66) I have no clue what to wear to POTO.
67) If you don't know what POTO means: *smacks*
68) I need a back massage badly.
69) I laugh whenever I see this number.
70) I am aware of the fact that that is really immature.
72) I'm watching Harry Potter right now, ironcally.
73) I think it's really dumb that people put their FB education and work as Hogwarts.
74) I love green eyes.
75) Castles will beat every other form of architecture forever.
76) Super Mario Sunshine is the best video game ever.
77) I get major anxiety when people are mad at me.
78) I have a crazy violent temper. Do not provoke me.
79) I love clothes.
80) I am SUCH A GIRL.
81) I love curly hair.
82) If I could choose when to live, I would choose the 18th century.
83) Pirates of the Carribbean is the best movie ever.
84) Ke$ha has a beautiful voice.
85) I love Tumblr.
86) I want a corset.
87) Don't yell at me. I have a chronic headache that never goes away.
88) Falling Slowly is the best love song ever.
89) I am addicted to gum.
90) I use my head more than my heart. I'm quite proud, but it makes me very nervous.
91) I'm actually pretty shy.
92) Classical music is the best kind of music.
93) I am very sensitive to smells.
94) My favorite store is a tie between Forever 21 and Lord & Taylor.
95) Sicilian is the best kind of pizza.
96) If you say I am from Sicily, I WILL be offended.
97) I love writing.
98) I'm considering starting to do beauty pageants.
99) I'm so relieved that I'm almost done.
100) I believe in miracles.

Just Me Being A History Buff

2011-03-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

I love history. And for some reason the life of Marie Antoinette has always been a life particularly fascinating to me.

I'm sure most people, when thinking of Marie Antoinette, think of a silly, materialistic queen. Perhaps the quote, "Let them eat cake!" comes to mind. Well, I feel pity. That little bit of a prick that comes to a corner of your heart, that is what I feel.

Marie's marriage was created to keep the alliance between her home country of Austria and France, so she wan't even French to begin with. However, the people of the French court were racist against her Austrian heritage and that made her somewhat of a social pariah in Versailles. Her own husband, Louis XVI, was cold to her in public setting because he was raised to be mistrustful of Austrians.

Speaking of Louis, he was also cold to her. Her safety on the throne of France was dependent upon consummation, or the first time they slept together, and the birth of the Dauphin, or the next king of France. And it took their marriage a little over three years to be consummated. So, he was emotionally stark to his wife.

Not to mention the indignities. What kind? The kind where she had to leave behind everything related to Austria and her previous life upon entering France. The first thing that happened when she entered France was that she was stripped down and dressed up. All of the sttendants and her pets and everything were left behind. She entered France wholly vulnerable, without a fmailiar face or anything, really, that could have given her comfort. Or, how the whole court of Versailles had the privlege of going and watching her give birth. Come on, who wants to have people, a lot of people, watch them give birth? Her first birth was so traumatic that she actually ended up hemorrhaging and losing consciousness and other bad things.

She gave birth to four children, three of whom died before reaching full adulthood. One died in infancy, one as a child of seven, and then one who died at age ten in prison. In prison! I know this was common for the time, but losing a child must still cause extreme and immense pain beyond my youthful capability of perception.

This was followed by the vicious lies and rumors that circulated, resulting in the French Revolution. While she was frivolous, and did spend a great amount of money, her extreme consumerism is understandable. Imagine your life, dignity and family being dependent on a marriage with someone exceedingly cold towards you, in a place where you were hated, ruling where you were hated. Her life was very sad. I would've turned to shopping, too. A lot of people would. Material items are used to fill emotional voids. Not that it exactly justifies putting the whole country into debt. But, it was also French aid to the American Revolution that put the country into great debt. And because their aid was key in winning the war, I doubt that most people would complain of that.

Now do you get why I am sympathetic? Maybe you don't understand why I am empathetic, but I don't think I can explain the sadness that pierces my heart when she is brought up in conversation and ridiculed.

Why Feminism Is Not A Priority To Me

2011-03-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Don't think, because of that title, that I'm someone who doesn't care about or respect the rights many people have fought for, for my gender. I am extremely aware and grateful, however in this society where our rights are equal in terms of what we can and cannot do, I feel it no longer necessary to promote ourselves and say: "I am a woman, I am probably better than man." Because that's just obnoxious. We are two genders that are created to be equal.

How can I say that being a woman is harder? Have I been both? I have not. Have I had children? No. Have I been kicked in the nuts? No.

Yes, women have been demeaned in society for nearly all of history, and continue to be so, now. I just think it's frivolous to devote yourself to the rights of American women when there are places where neither gender has any rights, like the impoverished or war-torn, or most recently, tsunami-torn civilizations of the world.

In America, the general view is that women HAVE received rights. You complain of sexism from jackass guys? Well, guess what: we reciprocate. For every sandwich-making kitchen joke, there's a penis size joke.

The genders are dependent on each other to reproduce. Women say they can have a baby without a man, and, yes, this is true. You can go to a sperm bank and get your baby batter there. Men can also have a baby without having a female partner. They're called surrogates. But guess what! If men didn't want to give sperm, and women weren't surrogates, and our genders were pitted against each other, our species would die out.

So, cool your egos and know that there are bigger issues in the world. Feminism in America is about as important as Harry Potter. That may seem pretty important, but, once again, it is an entirely frivolous matter.

My Statement of Belief

2011-02-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

After reading my lovely friend Nadine's Statement of Belief, I decided to scratch at the surface of my own beliefs and my thoughts on the complexities of divinity in the modern world.

I was raised Roman Catholic, and I quite honestly am unsure of the standard beliefs of the religion. I do, however, believe in a single divine force in the universe, and for lack of a better word, I will call It God. I believe in something--matter and antimatter-- out of nothing. This helped to mold the world into the balance of opposites we see today. Light, dark, land, sea, love, hate. Balance is what keeps the world from toppling over

I do not believe in the sexist, prejudiced ways of the Church, and nearly all major religions. I do not believe women are dirty, I think I should be able to eat bacon if I want to and I think that gays aren't eternally damned.

I believe in the Ten Commandments. They are the basic morality code for all humans. I think that "One God" is a symbolic meaning for how one specifically believes himself, and to go by what others say is right or wrong is what is truly wrong. I do not believe in cheating, at all. Parents should be treated with respect in 99.9% of situations.

I believe in love and I believe in suffering. I cannot stand the social atrocities involving the funeral process.

Basically,
I believe in God, I believe in things seen and unseen, I believe in Final Judgement, heaven and hell, I believe in Satan, I believe in free will. I believe the mistakes we make are forgiven. I believe in Purgatory and the supernatural. I believe in personal divine intervention.

I am not a full-bodied Christian. I am me.

And I believe in miracles.

Kimby's Guide to Patterns

2011-02-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

Lately, fashion and clothing have really started to take hold on me as very important things. I know that sounds superficial and all sorts of negative adjectives, but they are. Just watch TLC's What Not To Wear and see how looking and feeling beautiful is amazing for self-esteem.

Now, away we go!

Stripes: Stripes are very rarely flattering on anyone. Horizontal stripes are better than vertical stripes, contrary to popular belief. Chanel stripes are the only stripes acceptable to go all of the way across your body, with very few exceptions. Larger stripes are better for cardigans. Pin stripes are allowable.

Plaid: Plaid was a HUGE trend about a year ago. While it's not entirely out, it's grip on the middle-class fashion world has been loosened exponentially. Still, I give this trend a yay over nay.

Polka dots: There's a fine line between adult-like and Dalmatian-like with polka dots. I would save the polka dots for wall paper, sheets, and dresses meant for five-year-olds.

Tribal: Tribal prints are cool, modern, and still bohemian. The problem I often meet with tribal prints is that they are too busy. And busy prints give most people a headache. I love the bright colors and bold statement a tribal-print top make, but a more subtle version of it. 5 out of 10.

Floral: The only thing I have to say is know the difference between cute, and looking like Granny's couch. But I do love an adorable floral.

Sparkle: I love sparkle, but there is a limit on how much. I think most people should be able to figure it out for themselves, with their comfort levels and such as. And full-on sequin leggings aren't the only answer to this trend. Jewelery, makeup and nail polish (especially nail polish!) do it all. As we speak I'm putting on sparkle nail polish. SPARKLES! *runs around in crazed, girly circle*

People: By this, I mean things with people on them, quite simply, like band tees or my infamous anime jacket. I have a shirt with Audrey Hepburn on it that I adore. Once again, like the dots, it can be childish. Careful.

That is what I've to say to you all. Of course, if you want, you can go the Rachel Berry route and dress like a little girl and grandma at the same time. But I know what I'm talking about, with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly as my mentors!

Why Valentine's Day is Misinterpreted

2011-02-16T14:05:00.000-08:00

Is this post late? Naw. I think you need to see Valentine's Day go past before you can reflect on your most current feelings, because it changes from year to year.

This year, like always, I was alone. No complaints, really, because for the first time in my life, I took the time to remember the true origin of Valentine's Day. St. Valentine was a priest who was martyred for marrying Christian couples in ancient Rome, where Christianity was...bad. It didn't become associated with romantic love until the 1300's or so, by Geoffrey Chaucer and his group of comrades.

So, I guess that Valentine's Day has to do with romantic love as it's base and background, but was publicized by Geoffrey Chaucer and his heinous Middle English spelling. However, the Valentine that Chaucer spoke of was not celebrated with February 14th as his feast day. It was Valentine of Verona, with a May 2nd feast day. He wrote a poem for King Richard III and his fiancee, Anne of Bohemia, claiming the romance of that Valentine's feast day, which was interpreted into this idea of romantic love.

But, love is for everyone, whether it be platonic, familial OR romantic. And Valentine's should be every day. So show everyone you love, that you love them every day!

I know, I'm corny...

My Top 5 Places To Visit Before I Die

2011-02-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

Everyone has places that they want to go before they die. I made a list of my top ten, then narrowed it down to the five that intrigue me the most.

5. Kabul, Afghanistan.

Now, this isn't a city that is exactly known for it's beauty; in fact, it is more known for the ugly things that have happened throughout the shaky history of the Middle East. This, besides being the Afghan capital, is also a social and economic center. Besides that, it is also an Islamic country, and despite what the media does to Islam, I am awed and fascinated by their religion. Besides that, one of the two offical languages of Afghanistan is Farsi. I have previously expressed interest in learning the language, due to the gorgeous writing.

4. Vatican City.

Despite my disagreements with the Roman Catholic Church, I will always have a tie to it that no other religion, no matter how I admire or prefer, can break. It's like a sibling; the bond is unbreakable. It is the only religion that has ever offered me anything, and it is the one my family is bound to. Therefore, I cannot and will not ever be able to say I hate Catholicism. To visit the Vatican is like the hajj in Islam; every member of the religion should try to get there at least once in their lifetime. Besides that, the art and architecture. *dies of beauty and perfection* I support religious art 100%.

3. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Rio is, quite frankly, a paradise. It is in such a beautiful part of the world, and is such an accomplished and historically-rich city. And, it is a legitimate party city, with the extensive celebration of Carnaval, for which the city is known. Not to mention it's beauty, on the clear, warm Atlantic Ocean, on the Tropic of Cancer, The city is basically around the Guanabara Bay which, as you can see, is lovely and blue. And that's just something I would like to see someday.

2. Vienna, Austria.

Vienna is the music capital of the world. I don't care what anyone has to say about Nashville, or LA, or NYC, Vienna is the real deal. This was the city for Strauss, and Mozart, who was, by far, the most accomplished musician of all time. Beethoven came to this great city to study under Mozart. If you don't know me well, you should know I have an affinity for classical and opera music. Besides the city being gorgeous and having apple ice cream.

1. Edinburgh, Scotland.

Scotland has always had my eye as a foreign land to visit. It is AN ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY. And that matters. Edinburgh is an ancient city with a uniquity that cannot be compared. It's dark and lush and romantic, woith tall stone buildings, built for utilizaing space, and still pulling off lovely. I plan on living there someday, if only for several months while I am in college. I am obsessed. You need more reason? Gingers, plaid, the Loch Ness Monster, castles, bagpipes.

The Relevance of Ancient Works

2011-02-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

As we review over the Greek myths in my English class to better understand the allusions, I find myself relating to the qualities expressed in the stories. Like the basic literature of any religion, it teaches morals, balance and punishment.

I think that most people forget that these are stories that not only substituted for the nonexistent science of the time, but were also the religion of the Greeks. Now, I could compare these works to those that are in the Bible, but I much prefer the Greek ones.

I don't believe, in the ways of the RCC (Roman Catholica Church, the church I grew up in) that God is a perfect, flawless being. I believe that He (just to simplify) is a damaged being; that He has suffered immensely, and that He has a character. I doubt that God was alone in the universe, and that is one reason why I like the idea of polytheism. No one thing could take on the universe solely by himself.

I also love the idea of the extensive flaws in the Greek Gods. The many affairs of Jupiter can trickle down to today's high-end men who cheat on their wives with many other women. Most teenage girls have been Echo, pining for a boy who didn't care, and narcissistic people are still rampant in society. These prominent figures are still relatable.

I don't want to look up to a God that has never made mistakes; I want to think that he understands my own. A person who has never made a mistake will never understand the torment that can follow making a very bad one. So, I think that God is one fucked up dude.

I know that He loves us unconditionally; no one would put up with our shit if we didn't. So, it must drive Him crazy seeing the horrors of our world. Seeing His childern be raped, murdered, struggle with mental illness, suicide, you name it. But the worst must be seeing your creations slowl turn evil, forget you, and go and destroy everything you;ve been able to offer them. And being so far removed.

So, I'm not really a member of the RCC. I have my own opinons and I think that the Greeks, even if their science was kind of shitty, had something going there. And, anywhoo, hasn't almost every religion discounted science? Why not have a Sun God?

Just Leave Us Alone

2011-02-06T14:29:00.000-08:00

I think that one of the things that teenagers accept to readily, and their parents don't accept at all is that by my age, a kid is essentially in control of his/her own life.

Now, I think that kids should be able to control their own lives in terms of things like relationships, music, friends, clothing, and other areas of self-expression. And parents should have a grasp on their teenager's life, but they shouldn't be pulling at their ears. This is an age where kids are learning sensibility and making mistakes. To deprive their children of their "rumspringa," for lack of a better term, is only going to damage their child.

I find it to be a ridiculous concept that parents should expect to know every detail of their child's life. A life belongs to one person: himself. There are monstrous changes as children enter and go through high school, whether they be academic, romantic, friend-wise, activity-wise, or familial changes. These are dealt with personally.

And if a kid is troubled, but doesn't want help, if they are fully capable of still handling their life and all of the pressures, then leave them alone! A part of adoloscence is being angsty: if your kid ISN'T agnsty, then they are most likely superficial. Sometimes, the kids who are the strangest and farthest removed from typical teenager hierarchy, then they are going to be the ones with the best grasp on humanity, and humane treatment of others.

I just think that parents should leave their kids the fuck alone. You CANNOT pry into their life without being nosy, annoying, or just plain douche-y. If your kid needs or wants (key word being WANTS) your comfort or input, they will come to you. Sometimes, this comes just from sitting with you or watching TV. Home time is break time for kids, and if you pile stress on them when they are supposed to be taking a breather, then you're an asshole and your kid isn't gonna like you.

Now, outright awful behavior should be punished when it is affecting others in a negative way. But if it isn't hurting anyone, including your child himself, then just leave it alone. Kids, and adults, too, have phases where they behave differently from what you're used to them doing. You just need to chill out and take the ride. If you can't handle the ride, then you shouldn't've had kids. YOU, as the parents, are not having bumps; you;re seeing your kids bumps. If something is bothering you, then it's probably bothering your son or daughter 10X more.

Yeah, Dad, this is to you. Leave me alone. Hasn't enough changed in my life in the past two months? Can't you just leave me alone?

The more you pry, the more you'll get shut out. To people, in general.

The Invisible Act of Conformity

2011-02-01T19:43:00.001-08:00

People often do odd or unique things to say that they are not "conforming." What no one realizes is that we all conform to a point that if everyone was aware, the "weirdos" would fall to their knees.

Now, there is conscious conformity, which I spent middle school trying to do, and unconscious conformity. The latter is people who go against the things that are generally socially accepted.

But, every Goth kid that has denied conformity has conformed to another society. Every artsy person has conformed to the art community, etc.

Conformity is a necessary thing in all societies because if everyone didn't come together in at least one aspect, tehn there would be no such thing as civilization or human contact. There would be no friendships or families or love. There would be no religion because no one would agree. And the people who did agree would end up making other ideas. But there would be no one to agree with, anyway.

We are a society based on confomity and adopting the ways of others. For every aspect of what we do, there are others who feel the way we do. Honestly, while this annoys people who think they'll never be unique, shouldn't it be a comfort that there is someone who feels how we do? It's the combination of things we like that makes us unique, not the things themselves.

So, just informing you about one of my pet peeves. Stop yammering about how you don't conform, no onegets you, no one likes you, because it's bullshit. There are MILLIONS of people who share your interest. Ooh, being in a crowd. How SCARY.

I think I've done enough intellectual stuff. Let's copy other people and talk about clothes!

2011-01-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

I really like the idea of doing these, so I think I'm going to do these once a season along with a Challenge. Pre-season and mid-season sound good?

So, my first thing is the beaded purse. Since I was a little kid, I've always loved the look of extravagant beading on handbags. They add an instant pop to any outfit, like a bright lipstick color and are always cute. These are generally better when they're vintage, and vintage abything is awesome, right?

Printed scarves are both cute accessories and a convinient necessity during winter in New York. A cute print goes adorably with any monochromatic top or dress, and if a thin silk tie will make you two degrees warmer, think about the promise of warmth from a thick scarf tied around your neck. W-A-R-M.

Third is a pair of heeled black boots. I recently acquired a pair similar to these, only with a chunkier heel that will be easier to walk in. I personally think that mid-calf is a great length, but up to the knee is fine. For taller boots, I don't care for wedges, and I think that a thick heel is a great compromise.

In my school, tops that show off a bit of the midriff are the style the way leggings were two years ago. It just so happens to be that I have an impressively flat stomach for someone whose main diet consist of chips and seltzer. I wholeheartedly approve of this, as long as it doesn't go up higher than the belly button. Avoid the belly button in general. the lace on this one adds a cute, classier touch, as well.

I love sparkles. I am a total sparkle girl, and am so glad that they're in stores. Sparkles are a bold statement that oozes with confidence. Honestly, I can't tell you why, other than SPARKLES ARE AMAZING LIKE PIE.

Once more, a huge trend in my area of education are these skirts. Once again, a flat stomach aids here because the skirts are really tight. Pencil skirts are a big part of the fashion world for older women, and by shrinking them and adding ruffles and whatnot makes this a sophisticated look that is still attractive and youthful.

Belts with cute designs on them are the new graphic tees. Now that most shirt's'll be cut off by the top of the pants, belts will be visible. The only one I have, everyone knows, I wear at least once a week, religiously.

Lastly, I love dresses. Everyone knows I love dresses. And one like this, with a simple, yet cute pattern is perfect for going out and going to school. When something is cinched at the waist, it automatically becomes figure-flattering. And I like dresses like I like sparkles. :)

Today, along with this, I will be doing Challenge Numero 19: Nicknames you have, and why you have them.

Well, I think we all know my name is Kimberly, and my nicknames are simple things like Kim, and Kimmy, which are obviously just shortened versions of my name.

The one nickname I have that has a backstory is Kimja. Besides being a total ninja, I got it for answering a really hard question in my 8th Grade Social studies class, in full detail, within five seconds of the question being asked. This was during a competitive review game that was not unlike Jeopardy. Someone called out "Way to go Kimja!" I started the blog soon afterwards, and the nickname just stuck.

So, KIMJA!

I l♥ve...

2011-01-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

You're beautiful, honey.

I love the way that light gleams in your eyes when you're excited. I love how you clap your hands and jump around. I love how quirky you are, and all of the things that make you so fucked up. I love how dedicated you are to what, and who you love. I love how amazing you are everyday, and I love how funny you are.

I love the way your hair curls. I love your deep thoughts on the subjects I'm too afraid to explore, and I love how romantic you are. I love the spazzy noises you make. I love hearing you sing. I love the face you make with your eyes and nose scrunched. I love how beautiful you are, and how you always seem to know the better road for me, even when you;re unsure yourself

I love how you give your all to me. I love how we talk for hours, and how my parents love you, too. I love how you'd do these crazy things to make me feel better. I love how you have an opinion, and even if I disagree, that it is always in my best interests. I love how we harass my teacher, and how we switch sweatshirts. I love how we wander aimlessly for hours, and I love how you give me purpose. I love how when I feel like I should be protecting you, you make sure I'm safe and happy first.

I love how you look everyday. I love how you hold me at the waist. I love how your hands feel on my back, and I love the sound of your voice. I love your name, and I love that quarter-inch of brunette fuzz on your head. And I love your face<3

Too bad I'm not in love with you.

But, the other three, do you know who you are?

Honesty, Talent, Professionalism, and Friendship.

2011-01-23T15:12:00.000-08:00

I find it disturbing that our society is one based on fantasy. You don't believe me, see movies, books, and other media outlets that show people getting what they want. This varies from things like love and acceptance to freedom and the appreciation someone with talent deserves.

However, this is rarely the case. Parents encourage their children to do anything they wish, and I hate to be the cynic, but most of the time they can't. To quote an old episode of George Lopez, "There's only one president, but there are millions of factory workers." And I couldn't agree more. I think one of the biggest mistakes that parents make is the mistake of misguiding their children. I hear so many little girls say they want to be singers when they grow up, and I'll hear them sing one note and know that they don't have the voice to sell hundreds of thousands of records. Of course, at 5 years old there is so much time for development and improvement, and I'd never break a little girl's heart like that, but when you reach my age you should know, chances are slim.

There are going to be people who will say, "Screw her; I can do it, I can do it." And I absolutely respect that. I just don't want people to be mislead into thinking that everything will fall perfectly into place because if it doesn't these people are left alone and lost and confused, which helps no one. Why do you think there are so many homeless people in Hollywood. Because there are ten thousand auditions and only one lead role.

I've seen some people who think that they are so accomplished in what they do because no one has ever had the heart to tell them, "This isn't actually your forte." And to do that to a kid, a high school kid, is the worst thing that you can do. What if you get someone who's spent his whole life being told. "Nice job, hun!" when he actually has the vocal abilities of a bullfrog? He'll go for something legit, a Broadway role, or something in a movie or audition for a band and be told, "You can't sing for shit." That person has spent his whole life being lied to, and now the one thing that he has focused all of his energy on is now useless. What if it's too late to learn how to do anything else?

My point? Be honest. There are ways to be honest without being outright nasty. Be gentle with language and use a respectful tone. It isn't "You can't sing for shit," rather, "The range wasn't good for you." Unless, of course, you are the professional. But as friend, don't tell a lie to spare feelings, because you are being asked for a reason. Be honest, not misleading.

Day #15. Of What? Read, baby...

2011-01-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

Remember that shiteous fail called the 30-day Photo Challenge? I have made it a goal to finish that, in any order I want, by the end of the year. I mean, if the point of it is to express your individuality, then why not make your own rules. Oh yeah, I'm pretty revolutinary.

This is me and my hideously cracked iPod Touch (I'm praying for the new iPhone! I'd put it to such good use and take wayy better care of it than I have this ol' guy.) I will be using it to do the original Day 15-- Put it on shuffle and share the first ten songs that play.

Here's we goess!

1) Billy Joel, Big Shot
2) Thriving Ivory, Flowers For A Ghost
3) Justin Timberlake feat. T. I., My Love
4) Nirvana, Polly
5) Justin Nozuka, Save Him
6) Eminem, Hailie's Song
7) Bon Jovi, I'd Die For You
8) Matchbox 20, Disease
9) Andrea Bocelli, Con Te Partiro
10) Sinedown, Second Chance

Out of 1105 songs, I got lucky to have such epic ones. Especially when I have a good amount of CASCADA on here, from when I was younger and a conformist, LOL.

I'm thinking my next one will be either # 28 or #29

Definitions of the most abstract things

2011-01-22T07:57:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that the most abstract ideas in the world are the hardest to define? So, I'm going to give you ten ideas and I'm going to define them myself. If you try to define them YOURSELF, rather than using my words verbatim, you'll see that it is difficult.

1) Freedom: The liberation caused by the obliteration of force from a socially accepted "higher power."

2) Goodness: The use of morals to make decisions that positively impact the life of oneself and/or the lives of others.

3) Evil: The misuse of mental or physical properties resulting negatively for others, either physically or mentally.

4) Loyalty: Acts involved in defending and caring for a person, place, government type, etc.

5) Faith: Confidence and trust placed into someone or something that may or may not come to be physically seen by man, or is not proven scientifically.

6) Individuality: People who refuse to conform to social normalities.

7) Maturity: The ability to take responsibility on oneself either for his/her own actions or for the betterment of others.

8) Intelligence: The capability to expand thoughts, impressions, and ideas without much difficulty.

9) Society: A social group combined to make advances in all areas of study to influence the human population to strive for more.

10) Love: The reason that anyone does anything for another; the bond of society, a deep emotion that inspires the postivity of al of the aforementioned. Something we all deserve.

"Love is overrated, The Script is underrated."

2011-01-20T13:56:00.000-08:00

My latest music craze has been with the Irish band, The Script. They've been around for a while, like Thriving Ivory had been when I did my post about them a few months ago.

You probably know them from their singles "The Man Who Can't Be Moved," "For The First Time," and mainly, "Breakeven." I guarantee you've heard at least one before.

Their most recent album, Science & Faith is a lovely collaboration of heartbreaking lyrics and lush meaning. I must admit, the album is comprised entirely of breakup/broken heart songs, save one. But I won't focus exclusively on Science & Faith.

The band can cover every genre, from angsty love ballads to hip-hop-esque choruses to mainstream pop, and jazzy feel-good tunes, thanks to the adaptable smooth voice of the rather delicious lead singer Danny O'Donoghue.

Did I mention they wrote Kris Allen's hit song "Live Like We're Dying"? Because that song is amazing. They are clever songwriters with lyrics that are more than meaningless choruses, and they have yet to corrupted into a band that subliminally encourages less-than-stellar behavior the way songs like "Love the Way You Lie" and "I Like It" and even and especially "Bad Romance" do. (Hey! I love all of those songs, I'm just saying, getting drunk, cheating, and absuing your significant other aren't behaviors to follow. Showing someone how much you love them totally is.)

I think that their emphasis on the heart, and the breaking of such a precious object is important. We all know what happened to me recently, so maybe it's convenient for me, but I've always loved the emotional afterthoughts on a relationship. I've had my fair share of emotional trials of the heart. being dumped on my birthday and half-cheated on, to name a couple. Nothing's okay on a person and they honestly portray the real-life situations, like making a fool of yourself as you stumble about town, looking for that someone. It isn't the fake shit that you see in movies.

Now, after showing you a dramatic band photo, it's time for my favorite part!

What's that, you ask?

LYRICS!

"Tried to break my heart/ Well it's broke/ Tried to hang me high/ Well I'm choked/ Wanted rain on me/ Well I'm soaked/ Soaked to the skin" --The End Where I Begin

"Now I'm looking up the Bible/ Trying to find a loophole" --Rusty Halo

"Oh, please don't be so naive/ Don't wait till your heart bleeds/ Love wasn't built for speed, listen to me girl/ He keeps fuckin' with your head, tryna get you into bed/ And in the morning you'll just hate yourself" --Fall For Anything

"And it hurts so bad/ That I search my skin/ For the entry point/ Where love went in/ And ricocheted/ And bounced around/ And left a hole when you walked out" --Exit Wounds

And there I leave you, with the important task of getting your butt on YouTube and iTunes because "love is overrated, The Script is underrated."

The Review of GRIT I Promised Y'all

2011-01-20T12:48:00.001-08:00

GRIT is a novel that a good friend of mine, Samantha Nyx of

I fucking hate that thing, you know. Damn link thing never works.

But whatever.

GRIT the the intense story of a girl who has been physically and mentally tortured for years by the American government for the murder of her brother. Which she committed using only the power of her own mind. Now, six years later, Sarah McClair has been in the custody of two people forbidden to even use her name. In a new school where she sticks out, she manages to get an equally intelligent girl, Lacey, with the street-smarts she never got the chance to develop. With the hacker-help of Lacey's brother Reese, Sarah sets out to free herself from the government's control over her.

Yes, this is a story my friend wrote, but I'm not just saying I loved it because of that. Intense escape thrillers that warp the government are rarely my thing. Only in the movie PUSH, and The Hunger Games. Oh, who am I kidding? When it's well-done, escapes are pitfalls for page-turning anxiety that I can't rip myself from. Even if it's 1 AM and I have to wake up in four hours for school and I'm already sleep-deprived.

Yeah, Sam is that fucking good. She is the epitome of amazing-ass writers with sick nasty Doc Martens that I really, really, love.

Now, I have a lot more personal insight into this book than some other reader, so I can tell you that this was a NaNoWriMo book, meaning, to the less knowlegable of the Twitter/writer world, that you write a 50,000 word novel in only the 30 days of November. It's a feat that I cannot do. And I can also recognize little things, like references to Emile Autumn (her Goddess!) that she might even be aware of. And I know they're there, and it's nice to see stuff like that.

Now, I can't exactly say to go out and buy this book and read it, and things like that because it is currently not available for purchase. I just figured I would make you jealous. Hopefully Sam will make this available for purchase on the Internet after she does another round of editing. If anything happens I'll be sure to update all four of you later on, okay?!

'Iight. Peace out, girl scouts.

Going back to the roots with which the blog began...

2011-01-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

A million years with icicles hanging around
my barely thumping organs, lost feeling in every fingertip,
Encouragement rang from everywhere, when I felt nothing.
"It's beautiful," they cried, not knowing it, that I, was a liar.

The moment fire began to flood through my veins,
inside galore, pain throbbing, heart breaking, tears flooding from burning eyes.
Youth lost in weakened bones, weightless humanity, prominent loss.
All tinged with the smell of incense and funeral blooms in empty pews.

I tried to feel something, express what I felt, when I truly did.
When my feelings were the prominent part that I usually hid.
But me, myself, was shot down, and they begged to see that genius again.

The one who lies. Her soul's nothingness; the only thing not sending it downward.
The one with nothing, no one to believe in, not even a lover.
The one who takes the last bottled message that it is possible to adhere to.
"Brass balls."

The Bride

2011-01-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

The bride is dead.
Her hope chest lies,
mahogany shines,
untouched.

The bride is dead.
Her veil is tangled,
the tiara mangled,
undone.

The bride is dead.
Her hankies, yellowed,
lace has ripped
to shreds.

The bride is dead.
Her album, there.
Better days
have gone.

The bride is dead.
Her diamonds sit
upon my neck.
unloved am I.

The necklace. It's over 100 years old. One heck of an antique, huh?

The hope chest. Eerie, huh? Try having it in your house.

Dress & veil.

My grandparents. Aren't they beautiful? (If you say no I will beat you bloody fucking senseless--no kidding, no humor.)

I think I'm finally getting my closure. I just wanted to sure some newfound tresures. I was a forunate person to have such a saint raise me. I know you all must be tired of hearing about this, but this has been such a painful experience--the worst of my life. I lost a mother, grandmother, companion, confidante, and friend. I just wanted to put all of these things together in a place where I could hold onto them for a very long time without the...worry about the eventual physical breakdown of these items.

♥

You had better be jealous...

2011-01-13T15:24:00.000-08:00

I plan on my next blog post to be a review of Samantha Nyx's GRIT.

I should have it up within the next couple of days.

:D

I am an Obsessie.

2011-01-12T19:25:00.000-08:00

My personality type is the obsessor. I never forget, I focus on things too closely for too long, and when I want to know things on a certain subject, I learn it. This includes people. I know so much about people when you wouldn't even guess I knew who they were.

This also applies to music, books, etc.

So, I had an obsession arise with the late author, Truman Capote, which eventually came full circle into an obsession with his novella, Breakfast at Tiffany's, then came to movie and Audrey Hepburn, and my obsession with the song "Moon River."

Really, Kim? A whole post for just one song?

Well, yes. Because anyone can sing it. Any range, this song fits. Audrey seems to be a clear alto, with the song being written specifically to meet and compliment her smaller range. I can sing this quite well, being the epitome of soprano-ness, according to my best friend, Jonny.

And, also, anyone with a critical, break-shit-down-and-process-it-until-the-meaning-comes-out-like-a-flower-in-bloom will adore this song because NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS.

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

See? What the heck?

Whatever. Just go listen to it. It's one of those songs that a million people have covered. So go listen to:

Audrey Hepburn, Sarah Brightman, Elton John, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Barbra Streisand, and Andrea Ross sing it.

Seriously, NOW.

Breaking Down The High School Stereotype

2011-01-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

So, to expand on an idea that was brought up to me just moments ago, and also defending yesterday's first post, I am going to write again to you all!

YAY!

Now, I think that in my meager experience with high school has taught me that there are popular people, but they don't meet all of the stereotypes portrayed by the media. That includes the internet, TV shows, books, movies, webseries, etc.

The Stereotypes...

They are all gorgeous: That is a blatant lie. Very few people are blessed with gorgeousness in compariosn to those who are not. There are definitely the girls who are very pretty, and that's all good and well for them. But my grade is severely lacking in blondes, so that stereotype just kind of fades away. Many girls don't have the perfect, thin body, and those that do are mostly lacking in the boob department.

They dress in sexually revealing ways all the time: That one is laughable to me. Most girls in my school dress awesome-ly only a small percentage of the time. The rest of the time they wear yoga pants shoved sloppily into their Uggs. Exactly, Ugh. And, dearies, if you're going to wear your pencil skirts with tights and boots, it looks better to wear those slouchy boots that are so in style right now rather than your rolled-down chocolate brown Uggs.

The lines in social hierarchy are VERY CLEAR: False. I have friends who are connected to both me, closer to the bottom, and the very top of the pyramid. If there are, say, 5 levels, I flow through three of them quite easily. The most powerful thing you can do is have friends everywhere.

They are whores: Nope. Sure, we all have our whores, but I've noticed that the girls who get less positive male attention (i. e., lower on the scale) are the ones to screw around more. But the popular people definitely have their whores. They just all aren't. Many are definitely the ones to say "I'm gonna wait until marriage," and other stuff like that. So, I say, good for you girls.

Now, I've basically hit the nail on the head, so I will say that many of these girls still feel an unrealistic level of self-importance and egotism, and that's where yesterdays post came in. Because very few of them are odd. That's why they're POPULAR. They are utterly normal.

A heart is only useful when beating. Any other functions are needlessly draining. But totally essential at the same time.

2011-01-08T19:40:00.001-08:00

I won't disclose names, but a friend of mine has been recently feeling very discouraged by the prospect of love, and getting a boyfriend and all of that typical teenager stuff.

Now, I think that dating and a romantic skills are very important to develop while in high school. This is the test-run to life, and love is definitely a very important part of life.

I'm not a die-hard romantic, and most people always undermine my relationship with my boyfriend (who, by the way, I adore.) and don't even bother to think that it will bother me because "he's Conor." It does bother me, and emotionally, he's the summit of everything I feel. Even if I doubt that it's love.

I really do think that it's a beautiful thing to have, though. And, trust me, there's no feeling more beautiful than someone putting their arm around your waist and kissing your forehead when you're feeling less than stellar.

Now, to the girls who can't seem to find the boy, while high school is a good beginning for the types of emotionally-trying relationships that most people will go through in their lives, it doesn't HAVE to be now. Most girls I know who aren't getting themselves out there now are working for more than this town, or this way of life, striving, longing, and working for more than what this meager life has offered them thus far. And to them, I say, KUDOS MAH SISTAHS!

I, however, am not that focused, and am more ruled by my natural animalistic instincts. Because I'm totally into the whole feeling-up-my-waist thing. Haha, no way I would compromise my rep as a good girl on the Internet!

But seriously, if you don't have a boyfriend don't assume it has to do with your physical appearance because everyone is beautiful. YOU, friend I am specifically talking to, are one of the MOST gorgeous girls I have ever seen. You make me feel insecure about my appearance alot because you always look so sexy badass. I digress, though. Boys are also very small-minded at this stage of the time, because, well, their brains are in their pants, and COME ON, I really doubt anybody we go to school with is that well-endowed. ;)

But, to be honest with what I think regarding love-romance:
If I could go back and have no romantic experience and never have been hurt, or be exactly where I am, I'd stay where I am.

FORMSPRING HATER: My boyfriend means the world to me. So STFU.

That totally applied to this, by the way.

Now, good luck my lovelies! XOXO

To My Peers,

2011-01-08T13:36:00.001-08:00

Being a member of the, for lack of a better term, dork side in my school has inevitably molded my perspective so that I think I truly AM odd, or unique, or special. I think it's that way for alot of people who are more in touch with my perspective.

We're not the prettiest, or the skinniest, most athletic or popular, to you. That's our stereotype, to which I must say is so untrue. My friends are all GORGEOUS, many have bodies that supermodels are jealous of, or play multiple sports. They just lack in the popularity department.

But very few of them are actually fucked up. And by FUCKED UP, I mean, if you knew, then you'd either avoid them at all costs or you'd torment yourself with sympathy. And the way you treat us is what makes us think there's something wrong with us. And that why we're so fucking depressed, because your words SEEP IN, through our skin. It's getting epidemic. We say we're just weird, for the most part, to build a defense mechanism against you backstabbers. I do believe Lily Allen's song FUCK YOU would describe all of that perfectly.

Then, what else is annoying is that all of you, with your perfectly paired Hollister t-shirts and low-rider jeans say you're freaks, weird, messed up. And, granted, some of you are. Some of you are POSERS. Not Marilyn Manson type posers (Yeah, I just called him a poser. HE is NOT the epitome of Goth, foo's!)but your own special type of delusion, taking away what little armor some of us have against the cold world we've known since grade school.

Now to avoid the wave of "YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE" that I am sure to receive, I actually am fucked up, having gone through self-injury, suicidal thoughts, depression, severe conflicting mood swings, and an unholy temper. There's also one more thing I am actually somewhat terrified to re-disclose on this blog. If you care enough to find out, look at last year's SPEAK NOW blog post.

Now, with fond regards, I leave you to ponder treating us like cattle.

Love,
That girl who sings the really high notes for no reason
Kim XOXO

This to all of the people who never bothered to get to know me...

2011-01-03T16:18:00.000-08:00

You scare me.
You terrify me so much and you don't even know it.
When I see you, my skin crawls.
I don't loathe you, hate you,
I feel nothing anatagonistic toward you.
I feel only fear, discomfort,
dirtiness rising through my whole body.
And I clutch my stomach.
Because I can't think of what else to do.
I need to defend myself.
But I can't.
So we walk past each other, and nothing happens.
I block my thoughts until I feel
my empty stomach gnaw inside of me.
My vision goes black, my knees buckle.
But I walk away, dreading the next time I see you.

A Post On...Hatred?

2010-12-31T13:10:00.000-08:00

One year ago, I was a nothing. I was a wannabe writer with no real skill, and a lot of useless information in her head.

Repeatedly, I condemned myself to relationships (both platonic AND romantic, people!) that ended up only hurting me when I wanted to give so much more than I was really ready to handle. Have I done that this year?

Hell yeah.

But I don't cry like I used to; for no reason, angry, hurt, whatever. I've learned to deal with things in a more inward way. I've forged relationships where both members give what they've got, because others end up being all that we have. I've given up the naive nature in which I said I don't hate anyone.

You live, you learn, you love...and you hate. And that's perfectly fine. There are people who you just aren't going to like. You DO NOT have to like everyone. Just know what you're talking about. Have your evidence if someone asks why. Hating for no reason is what is morally incorrect.

Then there are the people you condemn for doing you wrong. They've done you wrong knowingly. EVERYONE has a free will. Unless there are stressed circumstances, everyone has a perception of good and evil. The line is "wuzzy," to quote Jane Goodall, but once someone has provoked your tears YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION to be nice. You shouldn't go out for revenge, but you should ignore them. It's actually as easy as giving someone the silent treatment. Only more permanent.

Of course, I'm not talking about a friend who was careless with his/her words. I mean the nasty backstabbers that you KNOW are mean. Don't hate somebody because they did better than you on a test, or a thinner, prettier, more talented at whatnot. That makes you the bad guy. Because that person has a blessing. You have yours, too.

I've learned that you can't be without ugly feelings. To deny them, is to deny the fact that you are human. Just don't let them consume you (I know; hypocritical, but I'm INFORMING. I'm blogging-legit, hoes.) and be classy about it.

Because CLASS is what will get you through life. Trust me, someone without an inkling of class is likely to be unanimously despised.

MORAL: Be classy about being a hater hoe. (And don't let people see you glare!)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Listen to me, I know what I'm saying.)

Death is Closure, Not A Reason to Hang On

2010-12-28T13:48:00.000-08:00

"To die: to sleep, no more."

These words were said hundreds of years ago, millions of people know 'em and quote 'em before we really stop to think about what they really mean, why they are phrased in such a way, and if they are really true.

I recently suffered a devastating loss in my family and I've been repeating these words in my head for such a long time. If dying isn't an eternal slumber, what is it?

It is like lying unconscious underground as the worms try to wriggle their way into your coffin and eat away at your slowly decaying skin that's been plastered in enough foundation to smother your pores?

Is the funeral process one of closure, or simply a morbid practice? Looking at it from a purely technical standpoint: a wake is where a corpse is dressed up like a porcelain doll, covered in makeup. People stand around, supposedly mourning, but are gossiping like hens in a barnyard. People who turn funeral homes are also known for stealing jewelry off of bodies, and for ripping off families who are so vulnerable in such a confusing time. They tried to scam my family. I just wanted to say, fuck you, Hawthorne Funeral Home, for trying to take advantage of my family when we were suffering so much.

It an expensive process with a lot of loopholes and strange traditions and I've already promised my father that I wouldn't do all of that; cremation, pour him somewhere, and hold a memorial later on.

I don't think that the traditional process gives a family closure in the death of a loved one. I think that closure comes from the death itself. I knew about my grandmother's impending demise and came to terms with it, or so I thought. I gave myself a good cry the night she died, and I know that my pain would have been greatly lessened if I hadn't had to see her in the coffin. Then, have to see the coffin lying by the hole where my grandfather already was. Dropping a rose on top of it.

Some people need that. They need a tradition defined by religion because they don't have their own philosophies to fall back on. I have my own perspective; many people don't address the issue in a purely thoughtful way. That's fine; do as you please.

My plan?

Cremation, have myself divided and sprinkled anywhere I could ever want to go, all over the world. If I have money, that's what I'll have it willed to do. I hope I have some spunky grandkids.

So, I lost my original point, but it led me to my own interpretation and opinion of a very serious situation. What happens when you die defines the rules that you abided to in life. Most people are traditional and want the rules to work for them, changing themselves so they fit the mold. I say, make your own rules.

And think about what you're leaving behind.

RIP, 12/8/10♥

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T09:06:00.000-08:00

No real post today, just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday! My new laptop is very happy to have met the Kimja and my followers today! ;)

Much Love!
XOXOX <3

HEY DRAMA CLUB

2010-12-23T12:03:00.000-08:00

Remember a few weeks ago when I made that post about the Formspring issue?

Well, I've realized that when issues arise and there's nothing I can do to change them, I feel better when I blog because maybe the people I want to have read this will, and they'll process it.

Today, it's drama. Yep, that suckish stuff stuffed right into what should be the best club in school.

Around half of the people who auditioned got cut: TRUE

A Freshman got a lead: TRUE

Aforementioned Freshman is now destested by many: TRUE

Aforementioned Freshman ASKED for this: FALSE

Many feel screwed over: TRUE

Yes, getting cut sucks, I would know. But words have consequences. And, if you were talking shit about this poor girl, and I admit, I was upset that she got lucky enough to get a lead when I couldn't even make ensemble, then you should know, SHE knows what's been said. And it's been affecting her horribly.

Wanna see?

http://abadcupoftea.tumblr.com/

Go check that out. And if it doesn't show you that this girl is hurting, then you're the bitchy unreachable one. No human should have the power to make another hurt so badly that they want to "die"--even if that IS hyperbole, it takes alot to make someone break down like that. That, I would know as well.

Now, I'm sorry if you got cut/didn't get what you want. I really am. But, top quote somebody else:

"(She)'s been doing this for 35 years. She's not going to pick anyone who she doesn't feel will live up to the part they are given. No one was screwed over. You're either right for the part or you're not. Period. If seniors think they should get a part cause they're seniors, wrong again. Just look how it worked out. There's no business like show business. Welcome to the game. Sorry if I seem like a dick, but it's the blunt facts."

Truer words were never spoken. So, lick your wounds, stand up and face the music(al). It sucks that so many people didn't get the chance, but there's nothing else we can do about it. if you did get casted AT ALL then feel lucky to be where you are and quit bitching. It could be worse.

And apologize if you were nasty. I'll start: I'm sorry I was upset; casting is done a certain way for a reason. I'm sure everyone will do great as soon as grudges are pushed aside.

(I also DK why I'm keeping people anon. We all know who I'm talking about, who I'm quoting, and who "she" is. I'm just holding onto some respect. So be bro, dudes.)

A Little Bit O' English HW, Because I'm English Now

2010-12-21T16:51:00.000-08:00

Remember these guys? I'm changing the POV back to Ethan later...

She stood, half-concealed by the darkness that flooded the house. Her fingers traced the tender bruise on her arm, and she winced. Lights shone from cars as they drove past, but none of them stopped. She looked around, not seeing anything, hoping her parents wouldn’t hear. Then, a light flickered on and off one, two, three times, and Diana knew to step out of the house. She picked up her bag and flung it over her shoulder, stepped outside, and closed the door so lightly that it would be entirely undetected.
Once the interior of the house was insulated from any noise, she ran, sprinted for her life across the frozen grass to the car. She flung the car door open and sat inside, throwing her bag into the backseat, on top of another large duffel.
She looked at Ethan, in the driver’s seat. “Are you sure you wanna do this,” she asked, terrified he would end up kicking her out, to go back into her cold, black, abusive home.
“Oh my God,” Ethan whispered, his hand tracing along the edge of her face. “What the hell happened, Di?”
She ripped his warm hand from her cheek and out it to her lips. “I came home past curfew last night, remember?” They had been plotting this hazardous escape the night before, keeping Diana from making it home on time. She shuddered as she remembered the screaming, the red faces. She relived the vase being thrown through the air, and hitting her face in her mind, the split skin aching even more in her memory.
They had paused too long, and as she turned to put on her seatbelt, she saw a face through the window. Her father’s deranged face stared at her, as he cracked his knuckles. She hit the lock on Ethan’s ancient car with her fist and screamed.
“Damn it, Ethan! Drive!”
“Diana! Get back here, you worthless brat! Listen to me, now. After you get back into the house I don’t want to see you with this boy again; now come and get your ass inside or I’ll make you,” he threatened.
Ethan shouted back at the man, a lifetime of pent-up frustration, in a series of vulgarities that shocked the man enough so that he stepped back, hands lifted, palms out.
He fumbled as he put the car in drive, and stepped on the gas. Diana’s father began screaming, cursing at the couple as Ethan maneuvered his way off her street, without colliding into him, no matter how much he wanted to.
He gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. Taking his eyes off the wintry road, he looked at his bruised, broken girlfriend beside him, her knees curled up into the fetal position. He knew, as he drove recklessly, that he was capable of hatred. The scratch wasn’t very long, but it was deep and very painful-looking. They were only two teenagers, running from their fears, but he knew that they were better on their own, than watching her be torn, standing helplessly to the side.
He slowed as they reached the train station. He pulled into the grocery store, across the street and walked out of the car. He opened the door for Diana and she giggled, “Why, thank you.” Her exaggerated gratefulness only equaled a small part of the gratitude she felt inside. He gave up a whole future to save her from the monstrosities she had to go through. It was priceless.
He grabbed both of their bags, until she playfully beat him to get hers back. “Come on! I owe you enough. At least let me carry my bag!”
Ethan tried to remain chivalrous, but eventually relented, passing the bag to Diana, who had begun shivering as snowdrops began to sprinkle all over her. He held her arm, and they began to speed-walk across the street.
They climbed up the stairs in the station and bought two one-way tickets to New York, where no one could find them, without extensive traveling. They waited by the gap, Diana shuffling on her toes nervously. Would they get caught? What would her father do? What hadn’t he done, anyway? And did it even matter?
The train pulled in, sending her hair flying. The aching in her face was finally beginning to be numbed, and without feeling the reminder of her familial evil on her face, she felt a soothing sense of relief fluttering through her body. When the doors opened, she jumped over the gap, with Ethan following closely behind, showing more reservation in his footing. The train was nearly empty and she picked an open three-person seat. Ethan sat beside her, and she whispered what held them together.
“I love you.”

KIMJA FTW

2010-12-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

I'm late, I know, but please, DO forgive me. I've been too in my head lately. I've been freaking about about presents... I just wrote my best friend a Shakespearean sonnet, in almost perfect iambic pentameter. (I'm VERY proud, by the way...)

And my boyfriend's present? It's amazing. And Morgen decided what it should, and did all of the work involved as I handed over the cash to support her project. Ahh, I love her!

But, I wouldn like to state that Kinja has been around for over a year. It started with repetitive posts of poetry my BFFL Jon and I wrote together. Then, I moved on to silly posts about nothing, and most recently I've posted alot of fictional prose I've been doing. When Kimja was started, prose scared me to death, so I hid behind the meaningful/less words of my poetry, which has always been very abstract and elegant.

I've halfway completed a novel, entitled CRAVED and currently am working on another work, my stab at the ridiculous world of romantic YA literature, lossely based on Capote's BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S. Because that's my favorite book. Besides A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS. WOOT.

The point of this? Nonexistent. I just wanted to celebrate trying to keep up with Kimja. I haven't, I'm sorry. I promise, after my auditions for the musical (Yup, like last year at this time, LOL.) I will come with one of my deepest posts yet, I've been through something kind of terrible recently, and I'm sick of bottling up my feelings.

I just set "anniversary" as a post for this and remembered to say. CONOR REMEMBERED OUR THREE-MONTH. I MADE A BET HE WOULDN'T. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT BOY? Oh, wait, he's with me. Nevermind...

Because I Decided to Write a More "Normal" Story... From a GUY'S POV

2010-12-03T17:50:00.000-08:00

She lowered her cigarette as I walked over, and smiled in my direction. Lowering myself onto the bench next to her, I grimaced at her. “Why do you smoke those things?”
Smiling, she turned her back to me, swinging her legs over the arm of the wicker loveseat, and laid her head in my lap. “Maybe I feel glamorous,” she blew a small stream of smoke into my face. “Maybe it relieves my stress.” After taking one last drag, “Maybe, Ethan, I just plain like it.” With that, she blew the rest of the smoke into my face.
Once I was no longer blinded by the gray smoke, I plucked the white stick out of her fingers, dropped it on the floor, and put it out with my foot.
Diana glared at me. She sat up and when her eyes dropped, I lifted her chin, my hands shaking. She looked back into my eyes, hers an impossibly dark navy blue. I ran my index finger along her eyelashes, over clumps of mascara. I rubbed the excess makeup between that finger and my thumb, wondering why she bothered with that crap. I had seen her without makeup a million times, and still she had to hide behind it.
She walked away. I stood up, perplexed until she turned around and gestured for me to walk with her. I walked quickly to catch up with her, and then she started to run away. I ran after her, and we twisted through the park. She stopped at the edge of the pond. The moon reflected into the water, which reflected onto her, turning her hair and eerie black-green.
I made my final lunge and grabbed her hips from behind. She shrieked, twisted from me. She ended up spinning away from me and falling to the ground in a fit of laughter. She sat in the grass, trying to subdue her laughter. I sat with her, watching as her laughter made her cry. Hyperventilating, she looked up at me, and I ran my fist under her eyes, trapping the little drops of hysteria. She looked at me, and I grabbed her hands, stood up and pulled her to her feet. When she was up I wrapped my arm around her waist and we walked home.
We were silent. She stared at the pavement and I stared at her. Her legs were bare and scratched. I worried, but kept my suspicions to myself. Then, she turned her head to look at me and said, “Can I stay over your house?”
My eyes, still on her destroyed legs, said, “Yes.”
I looked back into her eyes, as deep, and about as dark as the sky. “Thanks, Ethan. You’re pretty great, you know. I hope your parents don’t mind.”
I shook my head. “They won’t, you know that.”
“Phew… If I was any other girl, they’d hate me.”
This time, I let my eyes pierce hers. A moment of declaration. “But you aren’t any other girl.”

Hey guys! I’m really falling in love with Ethan and Di, so, tell me, do you like them? I think you should.

What Are We Coming to, People?

2010-12-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

This isn't exactly for random readers on the web. (But you are more than welcome to stay' I think I'll have a good moral here.) It's more to be posted on my Facebook as a huge slap in the face for some of the kids in my school.

Recently, anyone in my grade would know, our Formspring newsfeeds have been clogged with hate. Mostly between two girls, by people who probably shouldn't have a say in the whole situation. But that isn't it. There are people who continuously call an amzing friend of mine gay, much to the utter....infuriation of another bestie. I have an amazing friend who gets bashed for being friendly, and another who did nothing but get a really nice boyfriend who just so happens to be older. I had my own influx of hate for something entirely private about a month ago that got me nearly forty questions in about a week.

Now, I'm fortunate that a good split of those forty were support from my friends. But I know other people aren't so lucky.

WHATEVER. I have one, yes. Am I asking for hate? Maybe I am. Do I appreciate anonymous hate? No. If I have left an anonymous message, it was a GUESS WHO. If you're gonna say something, even if it's through a computer screen, get some guts and let them know who you are. Maybe there are some personality flaws they'd like to inform you of, too. Because we all have some. And, if someone wants you to inbox them, honey, they're letting you reach out to them. If you care enough to wonder about someone's sex life or why they may or may not hate you, you should bother to respond. Because no one can be friends with just 170 characters.

To drag this shit on because our town has no manners, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. This is a rule we are taught from infancy onward. We live in a community that is very fortunate, and we need to all encourage each other because we have some amazing oppurtunities.

Also, if you are messing with any of my friends and your identity becomes unconcealed, I will make sure you understand the dificulties they go through on a daily basis. Because very few of my friends are people with amazing lives. Many of them suffer alot on a daily basis.

You have the power to kill someones self-esteem. People who hate, and kill hope and joy in people are the reasons there are so many people with eating disorders, mental "craziness" and self-injury problems. If you tell someone to kill him/herself then they just may. Just because you said it. Do you really wanna let someone else's coffin rest on your conscience.

Love, the weird girl that hits really high notes because she gets bored <33

PS: I do not follow people for trouble. If I follow, I genuinely like you/want to know you better. You are all beautiful people, inside and out, no matter what these immature losers say. Mmkayyy? kthanxbaii

A Crazy Post About Love

2010-11-01T14:29:00.001-07:00

I once heard how "American" it is to have a happy ending. How childish and unrealistic it is to be truly happy at the end of an ordeal. I don't remember where I heard this--maybe it was a book. No, it was almost certainly a book, although I can't imagine what ethnicity the person who said it was.

I find this to be a very true statement. I can't stand Titanic because of it's tragic ending. I never cared for the current parts of that movie. Why distract from the story? Who cares about your god damned diamond?

Haha, I just heard Justin Timberlake yell "HOT DAYUM!"

Then, you have Disney, which changes the endings of their animated movies a lot.

I mean, even music has that. A couple of years ago Taylor Swift's "Love Story" changed the ending of Romeo & Juliet. And, honestly, I liked that idea better. Iconic couples deserve their happy ending. I mean, didn't Cinderella and Prince Charming get it? Many music videos, which are sad love songs, show the couple meeting again, and obviously rekindling their romance. Music breaks rules, too. But then again, it always has...

Then, going further, every redeeming couple, each paired set of kindred spirits deserve a life of happiness, but it so rarely happens. But, of course a happy ending is different to everybody. My personal idea would be a beautiful home, and easy, loving life, and a beautiful, talented family.

Now, some people would say a happy ending is just the couple, for the rest of their lives. And I totally respect that. Now, for some, they'd like to see people love and lose.

But they usually aren't American.

Intense Poetry Day

2010-10-28T14:11:00.000-07:00

What do I remember of that conversation?
I remember solemn-faced people, morbid talk,
And scrambling for a phone number we’d only need to call once more.

I remember hearing the words “radiation,” and “useless,”
As my mother wrote down information in her
“Notebook of Death.”

I remember my aunt walking in,
Puffy-faced, wet cheeks.
I remember seeing that pain, and tears welled behind my stubborn lids.

I remember her walking to me,
Rubbing my back.
“She’s a fighter, honey. Don’t forget that.”

I remember leaving her house, people whispering with hugs goodbye.
“Text me if you need me.”
“If you need me, call. I’m only twenty minutes away.”

I remember going home, my nose distorted by my crying.
“I’m fine. GO AWAY.”
I woke up this morning, and I was fine.

At least, I remember that you thought so until you read this.

A Miserable Post

2010-10-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

The one thing I managed to garner out of today was that I need to chill out. I mean, I know I'm known for being perky, upbeat, and having an eternal smile (or something like that...) plastered across my face and that is just the problem. I try too hard to go everywhere, be with everyone, be there for everyone, and to do everything I want to do, like being here, Twitter, Facebook, etc, and doing what I have to do, i.e., homework.

But, still, I try to do everything on little to no food, under-hydrated and sleep-deprived. Why do I do it? because I couldn't imagine my life without everything I do. I have a beautiful life, marred only by the fact that I don't take care of myself.

Now, don't worry. This isn't a goodbye to blogging. I'd die (metaphorically, because someone just MIGHT take it seriously) if I permanently stopped blogging.

I'm just feeling thoroughly miserable, due to my own stupidity. :'(

A Thousand Splendid Suns

2010-10-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

This is super overdue. A book review on A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.

This is the best book ever. I mean it. The description, according to Wikipedia is "It focuses on the tumultuous lives of two Afghan women and how their lives cross each other, spanning from the 1960s to 2003."

I cannot do this book justice with a review. I cannot describe this book and make it sound as amazing as it is.

This book is told by adding humans, lives, to the...changing Afghan government. It shows the little things in people's lives, like the "Titanic" fever that spread over the city of Kabul in the 1990's, and gave a heart to people that the rest of world seems to have forgotten.

I learned more from it than I ever have from any other book. Ever. I learned how to say shut up in Farsi (Chup ko) and about the Afghan government. I learned about the culture, and the clothing (not as restrictive as you'd think, due to stereotypes!).

Everything (101)

2010-10-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

To begin, this is my 101st blog post. I'm proud of me. And I'm very thankful for everyone who makes my small appearance on the internet seem worth it.

But I've been neglecting this, or just putting up things for my English class, like poems, short stories, etc. Maybe it's because people only write about what really matter to them? Well, I don't know what I stand for. I support gay rights, but I'm not an activist. I hate sexism, but wouldn't consider myself a feminist. I'm not much of anything. I'm a little bit of everything.

My whole life, I've discovered, is going to drama, singing, living for the bell at the end of the day, kissing my boyfriend goodbye everyday. I'm just like anybody else, besides randomly breaking out into song. And I'm scared of it. But also, I'm scared to be unique. Unique where I'm from is a death wish. And, the thing is, I'm too into normal to be TOTALLY unique.

And I've never been happier. If you know me personally, don't even bother thinking why. It monopolizes my every thought. :P

I'm pathetic.

However, I'm in love with our play. The Canterbury Tales. It's a...parody? Satire? I think the word is satire. I have a friend who says it appeals to her to do things like drama VERY MUCH, but she's scared of falling in love with acting, as she believes she can't do it because of certain circumstances. I say, go for it. We're fourteen, just beginning our high school careers. This, early on, is the time to fall in love, and have our hearts broken. There are hundreds of people who manage to make small, but manageable careers of acting. If there's a reason one would never be considered for a lead role, then guess what? Supporting characters are the ones that are the most overlooked, because no one wants to "support." They want to lead. Then, we always have our ensembles.

Just letting everyone know there's no reason to be dissuaded. But, she already has a sure course of action after we finish here at SFH (School From Hell). I'm worried about that. I can't think of anything I would wanna do besides... (hold the laughter) singing. And I've told so many people, I could never do that, it's not practical.

But who said dreams were practical?

Now I'm sad. I should go.

Realities (A Short Story by Yours Truly)

2010-10-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

A little bit o' fiction for y'all. For those who have read it, no need to stay. For those who have not, please enjoy!

I watched as she slept, my otherworldly glow illuminating various parts of the room as I slowly twirled on the plain black swivel chair. I stopped, facing the bed and saw her navy eyes ice over, and stare into me. I cringed from the possessed look on her face.
“Why are you here? Go away! I hate you! You left me, all alone, you know. You went crazy and Mom and Dad got me the shrink. I don’t know you. I never have!” The judgment in her venomous words sunk through my non-skin. She over my non-body. Her eyes, once a velvet midnight, now a haunting midnight, scanned my arms and she sneered at me. “Nice to see you aren’t mutilated on this plane of existence. It was a lovely way I found you, huh? Drowned in yourself in the bathtub, what a lovely sight! Wouldn’t you think so, hon?” Her voice cracked on the endearment and she turned from me, or, rather, my ominous, ghostly glow. She covered her face with a lace-edged pillow, and I knew she was crying.
“Kirsten,” I said as I reached out towards her. “Listen for a second,” and I was cut off. Not by my tearful sister, or myself, but both us. A string had been cut, I could tell when my passed right through her shoulder. I wanted to explain my craziness, thoughts, actions. I had to get them all out of me, but couldn’t. Time had run out. I couldn’t pat her cheek, kiss her hair, hug her good-bye. I was being taken away, and had to be saved. However, she was on the other end of desperation: all-consuming anger. So, I screamed for her.

I screamed.

I screamed, grabbing the plastic arms of the lawn chair I was sitting in. My eyes rolled over the room I was in. It was on wheels, a trailer attached to a car, all painted to look clownish and foreign. I was trembling in my seat. I recalled walking into the trailer, weighed down by my misery. I had dropped a bill into an ornate box, cradling the cash of all the woman’s other costumers. I had whispered my evil question, and she stroked my cheek, before grabbing my jaw and pouring a strange liquid with no taste or smell in my mouth. I remembered letting the harmless liquid slide down the throat, and being pinned to the chair, not feeling anything, and my eyelids drooping…
I stared at the woman. She was closing a large cabinet and she turned around. She looked at me, her red eyes rimmed in the thickest eyeliner I had ever seen. The strange-colored eyes looked mysterious and beautiful. I knew I looked like a zombie, and rubbed at my eyes.
The woman approached me and spoke. “I told you, girl, that I could answer any question. Did I, for you?” I was still pinned to the chair, and didn’t answer. She leaned in front of my face and “Do you know why you are alive?”
I cringed and nodded, tracing the scars on one arm. For a moment, she watched with a foreign mask plastered She then grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chair with surprising strength and roughness. “You must go. There are people waiting for us both,” and I left.
I pushed out of the trailer blindly, and nodded at the middle-aged woman who was next. She twiddled her fingers, and looked at me, asking a question. I didn’t have a magic like the woman in there, but as I nodded, I knew I had answered it right. She stepped in quickly, and the wind began to toss my hair.
I saw her, sitting, leaning against a tree about five yards from the trailer, drowning out the world with her headphones. I walked to her and poked her with the tip of my boot. She looked up, ripping the earbuds out of her ears. “Dia! Did she cheat you?”
I shook my head, smiling. I told her, as I pulled my sleeves over my wrists. “Silly girl, she’s no joke,” humor left my face as I told her, “She can answer any question. Even the ones you’re too afraid to ask.”
She looked at me, at my pulled sleeves, and a glaze was painted from the pupils, beyond the whites of her eyes. Even her eyelashes went out straight. “I hope she gave you the right answer,” Kirsten whispered.
“She did.”

A Childhood Favorite

2010-10-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

Last night, my good friend RICHARD and I started planning a Disney Movie Marathon, including some of our closest buds. Everybody is totally psyched to actually do this. (Except, ironically, my boyfriend...) I was wondering why, so I decided to analyze why I love Disney movies.

1) The hand-drawn animations. Yes, I was talking before CGI. There's something so much more child-friendly about something that wasn't made on a computer. 2-D is far too underrated. Besides, the little creatures are cuter. Think I'm wrong? Go watch any Universal Studios movie, and then go watch Snow White.

2) They give classic stories another chance in the spotlight. Snow White, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Mulan, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, you name it, they're all very old stories. many are centuries-old, others have passed more than one millennium. Obviously, most prevalent in Hercules, the stories are cleaned up to meet the Disney standard everyone is so aware of. As these are movies for young children, I see no problem in censoring it. Little kids shouldn't have to learn the ugly truth before they have to.

3) The music. Did you know that the guy who wrote the music for The Phantom of the Opera also wrote the music for Pocahontas? (Andrew Lloyd Webber, BTW!) It is sophisticated music with amazing lyrics. Maybe, as a singer I'm biased, but they actually hire(d) amazing singers that can do both pop, musical theater, and opera. SOPRANOS FTW!

4)They create a standard. I heard about a mother that refused to let her daughters watch the Princess Movies because of the unrealistic standards they project in Prince Charming. Well, AHEM, if I prefer Prince Eric, who is very gullible, and Prince Phillip, who is basically perfect, then I can do so. I see her point though, and no one wants their child to be disappointed with what life has given them. I imagine, if I was a parent, nothing would break my heart more. On the other end of the spectrum, high standards will keep anybody from settling for someone who doesn't treat them well. And, let's be honest, a little fantasy is what makes the world spin. If no one thought, no one would have any action. That mother should know that the standards of her children are taught by how they are raised, and how they are treated in their home. DURR

I always cry at the of The Little Mermaid. I can't remember all of the great movies. These are conversation starters. I am comment-desperate. PLEASE.

Because I Love This Site So Damn Much

2010-10-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

Kim
The only woman that will bring chuck norris to his knees

Nadine
The Most Beautiful thing in the whole world ! , God Was Amased That he made a girl so beautiful

Sam
sam is a very common name. it is usually given to people who are very cool indeed. people by the name sam are the greatest.

Ricky
he male equivalent of a Flo. A loudmouth redneck that turns obnoxious and wants to fight once he has had any alcohol. He starts fights but if someone busts his hole, he immediately starts spouting Oh God, and gets religious because he thinks he’s about to die. Someone you would want to beat to death with a plastic thermos.

Plague Rat
A hardcore fan of the musician Emilie Autumn. Not to be confused with a Muffin, who is a less active fan of her music. They can often be found wearing corsets, drinking tea, crafting, or "spreading the Plague" aka advertising Miss Autumn's music to the world. The also refer to themselves as inmates in "The Asylum"
Emilie Autumn: What time is it, Muffins?
Just normal muffins/fans: ...?
Plague Rats: TEA TIME!

Mallory
A crazy girl that appears to be drunk about 99% of the time. As she's sleeping in the middle of the night, she sits up like shes under demon possession and screams loudly for hours! She is one of the craziest people you will ever meet

Now, as he had the most numerous, and most hilarious amount of these, I hereby dedicate this next part to my boyfriend.

CONOR

someone who is the man
conor invented sombreos

Conor once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.

If you were to know conors' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.

a beast at everything
and really funny

a hippie who enjoys smoking weed and has sex

a person who has 3 of something that most people would only usually have two. for example a third eye, a third ear or a third nipple. conor's would most commonly have a third leg.

A traditional Irish name which means "Of high desire."

conor: gayish tendencies..but not quite..
conor appears to be meterosexual..

Person 1: Man, why does Conor work at Pizza Hut
Person 2: I don't know but he's still awesome
Person 1: Hell yeah

Someone who is a dick and who does not deserve to have such an awesome girlfriend

I think this all speaks for itself.
And, yes, this is Urban Dictionary. Yes, I will ow leave to read the bajillion pages on Chuck Norris.

An Awful Fall Poem. Don't Be TOO Cruel!!

2010-10-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Trees shed their hides,
basking, fully themselves, in this sun.
The air bites their bark,
Their branches swing more freely.

The leaves congregate on the ground,
piling up, scrunching together,
in the yard, and along the side of the road.
Flying through breezes.

I sit on the window seat,
looking out at a world in a snow globe
Everything's falling
down.

*braces self for hate*

Like the Word "Brotherly" Didn't Tell You...

2010-10-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

He sits, alone, in his room,
For endless hours.
And I’ve never worried about
Whether or not he’s sad;
His ridiculous laugh, snorts
Through the walls, into my room.
I hear him talk into those headphones
Through the dead of the night.

He sits, jealous, in the backseat,
Because I got shotgun.
But I never thought that he’d
Actually get mad.
Hands stretching around the headrest,
Ready to break my nose,
My voice rising to a shriek
As a crack comes from my face.

He sits, glaring, across the room,
For endless hours.
I’m only worried about
Whether or not he’ll attack.
His eyebrows squishing
Together over his brown eyes.
I see him staring,
Chills running through me.

I sit, alone, in my room,
For endless hours.
I’m worried about it all,
And so sad I’m tearing up.
Suddenly, the game stopped.
He came in
And gave me
A brotherly hug.

Mr. G had better like this. It's fo' English Class

And NerdySam, way to steal my idea, betch.

Teaser Tuesday [2] #thecraved

2010-10-05T13:55:00.001-07:00

Why would you do that? The spinet is mine, you told me! It was for this room, but it was mine! Just because you have other children doesn’t mean you let me get brushed under the carpet like dust, forgotten about while pests,” she spat the word through clenched teeth, hissing, spit spraying out in microscopic drops--”go through the things I prize. My life.”
Norah Camberlo looked at her daughter, pleasant and adoring expressions done with, her forehead pulling together. “The spinet is ours. We share in the music. The house has been so quiet with you gone. You have not, at all, been forgotten. We’ve missed you horribly. Your sister wanted to sit on the stool because she wanted to channel her big sister.”
It isn’t right.” Spoken in a childish voice, unsure. Mallory felt her hair, bristly ends sticking out of her bun. She yanked the elastic out, letting the damaged mane fall down like straw, bristly ends scratching her chin.
“Not right? The not right thing is giving up your childhood for an instrument. I know that adapting to being with other people was more difficult than you would ever be willing to admit to us. You are obsessed. It isn’t healthy. You don’t treat others like human, and you focus solely on that.” Cocking her head, she offered a meeting point, halfway between her desperation for normalcy, and her daughter, who was already farther away than imagined. “You father and I have talked for a very long time. We want you to speak with a professional because we think you have Asperger’s.”
Mallory’s fishy eyes narrowed at her mother. “I am NOT crazy.” Her mother opened her mouth to speak, but Mallory gave a look that lacked sanity, despite her argument. She, she just couldn’t take that. The idea of judgments from the people who never looked at her.
She walked out, and clomped up the stairs, not thinking that she would wake the other girls. She stepped into her tiny room and turned on the light. A figure was on the bed.
For the fist moment Mallory gasped until she saw her follow-up prodigy on the bed, a strained look on her childish face, sitting criss-cross-applesauce.
“What are you doing here?”

Teaser Tuesday [1] #thecraved

2010-09-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

So, I am doing yet another teaser for you guys! I think I'll do this every Tuesday, simply for motivation to actually write. I haven't sat down and written a few K in soo long. I am a hideous author. *cowers from good-author judgement*

So, here you go. Yet another piece of CRAVED...

Her life had always seemed like it was drowning in injustice; she often compared herself to Nannerl Mozart, the one who was always more talented, yet because of her standing in life, her gender, she received less recognition. No one seemed to truly appreciate her for her genius. Her younger sisters, the Wolfgangs, were appreciated for things she had already done and rewarded five times over.
She was not just the elder Mozart, she had suffered the unending trials of most every angst-ridden pianist and composer.
She was Beethoven’s childhood piano-based abuse, under the unmerciful stare of his father, she had walked through a harsh road to reach her education like Bach, and, not known to her at that heated moment in the cafeteria, she would face a troublesome affair, like Debussy, though no one else would refer to it as such.
The plate, which had been filled with nothing but a small tong-ful of French fries was emptied and she dropped the tray off, and watched it go through the little flaps towards the dishwasher. As Mallory walked out, she thought, God, why didn’t you put me with the angels, where I actually belong? I am a martyr, as misunderstood as human life comes, I’ll just end up dying for the piano…Too bad it can’t be a friend to me.
Later, she would realize, it was always her only one.

Sowwy! :P

2010-09-27T14:08:00.001-07:00

I'm trying harder to blog, I really am!

I just have no ideas.

Help please?

The Little Things

2010-09-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a surprise party was thrown for my good friend Dine Dine. (MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA) And just seeing how excited she was made me so ridiculously happy. So I decided to do a post on the little things in life that make me smile.

1) A hug. But not just any hug. The RIGHT kind of hug. I'd tell you how that works, but then someone *AHEM, AHEM* would take it as a hint to someone else. (And yes, Dini, I know what you're thinking.)

2)A comment: Yes, we bloggers love a comment once in a while. No. We ALWAYS want a comment. It makes us feel like people care about what we are thinking. And, honestly, I'd leave more comments if I was signed in when I read other people's blogs.

3) A good picture of myself: These are few and far in between. I almost always manage to look like crap in pictures. THIS IS WHY I TRY TO NOT SMILE IN PICTURES! I'M PRETTIER WITH A POUTY FACE!!!

4) A good dream: These are also rare. I'm one of those people who, since early childhood could never have/remember a dream. But lately, as my mind is very focused on one thing at a time, I have dreams about stuff. For example, I recently had a dream about Nadine's surprise party. Of course, that dream was interrupted by something else, but I shan't go into that.

5) A good outfit: The kind that isn't just "cute." The kind that makes you strut out of the house feeling like a million bucks. Your hair looks great and your makeup is flattering, fresh and dewy. Basically, a gorgeous day where you're grinning from ear to ear, rather than going, OKAYIMACCEPTABLEGOTTAGOBYEE. You don't look in the mirror to criticize, but to admire your lovely self. Because a confident morning is an awesome morning.

So, those are a few little pleasures. I hope you find something little that makes you smile today. :)

Speak Loudly...For Everyone Who Needs You To

2010-09-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

I thought, when I made this blog, that I would be able to avoid anything having to due with my own, umm, intimate life... But, right now, I don't care. Yes, I'm a fourteen year old girl, a MINOR, and if any adult wants to get creepy with this, then shove your ass right into prison.

A professor, Wesley Scroggins, from MO, wanted to ban the book SPEAK, along with two others in a public school. His argument was that SPEAK, with it's two rapes scenes. was "soft pornography."

One word: EW. Pron, by definition, is meant to, well, turn you on. If, as a grown man, a young girl turns you on, you need help. If, at any age, rape turns you on, you need help. To put them both together is horrifying.

He is, no offense intended, an uber-Christian. That's great, that he expresses what he believes religiously, but he's working to ban SPEAK in a PUBLIC SCHOOL. I don't care if you;re Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, atheistic, agnostic, polytheistic or Scientologist. You have no right to voice your opinion about religion in a public school. That's why it's public; it's for EVERYONE.

Now, this man is saying that sexual exploitation is something to be ashamed of. To feel dirty and keep hushed, alone. I'm freaked out to type this, but when I was little something happened to me. Not what a few people are thinking. While it wasn't rape, or anything like that, it's not...good.

It's been repressed almost completely; I didn't even remember when I first saw this hype. THAT repressed. But I never had the courage to speak up; and no one will listen anyway. I've decided it's too late for me. I can deal on my own. I think I've done pretty well. So, don't worry about me, but just keep Speaking Loudly.

♥

Day 3!!!

2010-09-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Today is a picture of you and your friends. I have a good amount of close friends that I can turn to, but for different things. Some are school, some are home/neighborhood...So, I'll just give you a brief look...

These were my Hollins girls this summer. In the tie-dye is Tina. Next to that is me. Punching the air is Charlotte, and Kim is eating her fist. Hidden by Kim's head is Elizabeth, WHO MIGHT COME AND VISIT!! Then there's Sarah, Haley, Katelyn, Molly, Sam (PHANTOM BUDDY!), Erin, Maria, and Nicole!

This is Ricky, one of my best guy friends. He looks better than me in this picture, which bothers me. But I will let it go because I love him.

This is VINTAGE. T'is Nicholas, the brother. And, indeed, I am the girl he is giving a piggy-back. Because we're cool like that. Is it weird that I count my brother as a friend? Probably...

Katie, the sweetest girl ever, Aneta, the most FUN person ever, me, Elise. It was wet, and rainy. And we are on a playground. PWN

That's me and Sofia, on a scooter. I love Sofia because she's ridiculously fun...She's the one I go to for girl time, and for a reality check. Really, she can manage teenage-girl reality checks. She's only 12, but she can really handle herself better than me. Meaning, she's more likely to get a boyfriend after two weeks than I am after pining for six months. FML. I love you, Sofia.

This is my best friend, Morgen, of over ten years. I love her because she's everything I need her to be. She can listen, laugh, and be tolerant of very weird things. She's been making me dinner for half of my life, and I couldn't imagine growing up without her. She the first person I call when I'm upset in the middle of the night, and is the only one I'll listen to for...a lot.

"Secret Dream Tag"

2010-09-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

So, after I was actually RESPONDED TO on Twitter, it has been confirmed that I will NOT be doing a Challenge today. I decided I'd try something special. This is a tag. In this tag the person is to say what their one ridiculous dream is. Or maybe not RIDICULOUS, but something that seems entirely out of reach. Maybe you want to be as successful an author as J. K. Rowling, or you want to be a world-famous actress. Maybe you want to be an astrophysicist but you suck at math. I'm starting this tag, and it isn't meant to make anyone feel bad, or not good enough. It's meant to really look at your dreams, analyze them, see why they're "impossible," and if you can do anything to make the chances of them becoming reality, how you would do it.

That was a hell of a run-on sentence...

Now, my secret dream is to be a model.

I'd love to do modeling because it's the nice, pretty, conclusion that matters. One of the things that frustrates me about school is that you have to have every step of the way done nice, neat, and perfect, too. I think that isn't practical, and if you get the end result impeccable, it doesn't matter if you did it another way. I know it doesn't work that way, yes, yes... I'm just saying that you just need to be able to execute only the most crucial part at the end of the day.

I love luxurious photos and that amazing thing called photo editing. I love the glamour of the clothes people wear, just to do weird things in them, and the elaborate makeup. If you didn't know, I'm an utter romantic and all things, well, dark, lush and romantic are 'ight with me.

I think I speak for most people in this world when I say, I just want to feel beautiful.

Now, being the lucky girl I am, I have wonderful, supportive friends who, not even knowing this about me, tell me I'm beautiful. I COULD model. Now, I'm not saying I am or I'm not beautiful. I just always, very patiently say I can't. No, I don't hate my appearance, or my body, hair, face, whatever. I just couldn't. I don't have the background in photography, or taken a modeling class. I am destined to live the rest of my life shopping in petites when only women 5"9 and above can strut down a runway in any fashion show. Oh, and sizes MALNOURISHED, BULIMIC, AND ANOREXIC. (Maybe I shouldn't be so blunt, but the lifestyles go hand-in-hand...)

Besides, that world isn't totally glamorous, the way the photos seem to make it. It's eating (and puking up) mostly airline food, and having damaged nails from constant manicuring. The reality isn't the pretty little picture I have in my mind when I think, oh-wouldn't-that-be-nice. A runway model is simply a ridiculous toy used to show off the worst makeup of all time, and bizarre outfits no one would ever wear. I like the black-and-white/sepia modeling with a theme, a meaning, a person who can act only through still poses. That's acting.

It's silly, but it's my secret dream.

Now, all of you, I am tagging you in this. Take it and put it on your blogs, Flickrs, Tumblrs, websites, put it on FB or even bring it to YouTube. I'd love to see what you guys have to say about your highest aspirations. Especially because you sat down and read mine.

Peace, love, LUCKY!
(Anyone get the reference to the fashion world, LOL?)

Day 2, and a Random WTF Post!

2010-09-13T16:07:00.001-07:00

Sorry, loves. Illnesses and loss of wiFi have made me break my promise.

However, Day 2 is the name of your blog and why!

WOOHOO

Well, my URL is kimjatheinkslinger.blogspot.com... The Kimja came from a nickname I had recently gotten in school due to my ninja-ness in Social Studies. >:) I was obsessed, yes, and I still love when people call me that. For my "Ink Slinger," I had just gone into a thesaurus website and typed in "writer." You know me, having to be unique with word choice. Ink Slinger was an epic win there. My lovely Nerdy Sam told me, so HA. Unless you have your own Nerdy Sam, SHUDDUP!

The actual title of my blog is Kimja By Day. I think it's pretty self-explanatory. (I mean, really, look to previous paragraph about how lamely ninja I am.)

Now, onto a real blog post, I guess.

Can anyone tell me why, when I walked into CVS today, did I see a magazine covered entirely devoted to a teenage couple who had a baby? Yes, it's a baby. Babies are wonderfully cute, warm creatures, when they aren't hungry, crying soiling themselves, yes...

But what gives these kids (BTW, they ARE kids, they're really not much older than me...) the right to show off a baby they no longer have rights to, to the world? Every child deserves the right to a secure home, which is very clearly being violated for this baby.

Is adoption the right thing? I don't know. I am NOT pregnant, I don't WANT to be pregnant, but if I did get pregnant I would keep my baby. I'm not one for wondering; it makes me depressed.

I know that was random, but I was really wondering. If someone could help me understand MTV, you are amazing.

And kinda stoopid.

Day 1 Challenge

2010-09-08T14:23:00.000-07:00

Day 1 is a recent picture of yourself, and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

Isn't it gooowwwgiss?

1) I hate people. They're just so... empty headed. And I don't like that. But, once I love somebody, I love them fiercely.
2)I am an utter romantic. I don't need romance itself, but I love the idea of unrequited love...just not now.
3)I'm afraid that none of my friends actually like me, and only put up with me because they feel bad for me.I get this feeling on a daily basis, with many of my friends.
4) As shown above, I am very low on the whole self-esteem thing. I hate my body, my nose, my eyes. I hate my chipmunk-y cheeks, and I never think I'm good enough for people to like. I feel like a real nuisance in this world, sometimes.
5) I love houses, inside and out. I know just about every style home, I could pinpoint a price on a house by looking at it. I love interior design, and if it was more practical, I would consider it as a career.
6)I try to spend all of my free time at the pond down the street. It's the best in the fall when the air has just a bit of bite in it, and no one else is there. It's really pretty there, with the water shining, and it's just a great place for pictures, and for sitting down, and, well, everything.
7) I believe that the best place to get in touch with your inner self is at the bow of a speedboat. It fats, and the wind blows through your hair as you bump over another boat's wake. And you can talk to yourself and no one will notice.
8)I want to become fluent in Farsi, a language used throughout the Middle East, but primarily in Iran, because I think their writing is really beautiful. ♥
9) I hate when people mispronounce my last name. It's how it's spelled people! Gi-An-Cas-Pro!
10)I talk to God when I'm scared or lonely, or I just want some good advice. To me, it's important knowng someone is there. I can't believe that no one is responsible for life.
11) I want to be beautiful. ALWAYS. I hate feeling like less than my best.
12) A guy with a Harley Davidson is cooler than a guy who can play guitar, have blonde hair,(that's usually my preferance)or is an utter ninja. Because ninjas are awesome. But motorcycles...CLASSIC motorcycles are cooler.
13) I actually watch that wedding dress show. *COWERS FROM JUDGEMENT!*
14)My goldfish, rather cruelly named Filet-O-Fish (yes, like the McDonald's sandwich) has lived over a year and a half, depsite being left alone about seven times, each time 4-7 days. :P
15) The person I love more than anyone is the one who hurts me the most.

WHAT KIM READ THIS SUMMER AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD READ IT AS WELL

2010-09-07T15:51:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I am going to start a 30-Day Challenge I found on my friends Nadine's blog. It sounds like alot of fun and I really want to try something new. However, today is WHAT KIM READ THIS SUMMER AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO, as shown in the title.

This will be done by alphabetical order of the author.

Bradbury, Ray: Fahrenheit 451. I had to read this for summer reading. Otherwise I would have tossed it over my shoulder and gave it the finger. It had the potential to be an amazing book, but it wasn't executed, towards the end as well as it should've been. Too bad. :/

Capote, Truman: Breakfast at Tiffany's. I liked this novella a lot. It had a surprisingly surprising story, a quite eccentric-yet-lovable main character. The narrator, too, being unnamed, is also quite fascinating. OHMAIGAWD I DIDN'T SEE THE END COMING.
In Cold Blood. This modern classic has everything a murder story needs. A murder, the murders trails, the reason, the sentence, their lives in solitary confinement, their backgrounds. You know all of these facts and history isn't boring. This, for mah SHS buddies, is also, for now, a 10 EngH summer reading book.

Collins, Suzanne: Mockingjay. This is the final installment of THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy and it is INTENSE. Seriously, the hijacking, and new twists, the change of almost EVERY chracter's personality. And I almost started crying.
Yeah, that intense. THE HUNGER GAMES is amazing and everyone should read all of the books and LOVE THEM.

Smith, Betty: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn. Honestly, this wasn't a bad book. Many of my peers, as this, too, was a summer reading book, hated it. I liked it. I thought it was a real story that was written very well. There were, despite the book taking place nearly a century ago, things to relate to. The things that piss the narrator off pissed me off too. And I think that that's very important in a book.

Steifvater, Maggie: Shiver and Linger. They're right next to each other in the series they are in, so I figured I'd do them together. Imagine the supernatural sexiness of werewolves without the suckiness of vampires. (It's a PUN, get it?!) But, for serial, this intense real-deal teenage love people. AND I LOVE IT!

I didn't read alot this summer. FORGIVE ME, GIANT FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!

And tomorrow you shall see the 30-Day Challenge thing. :)

Dude, I have a crudload of blog lined up for you guys. The challeneg, a couple of promos, maybe another sneak peek...
:D

What is Summer?

2010-09-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

T'is the end of summertime. T'is. T'was a lovely summer, though. Not the best of my life, but very nice.

Now, what's summer to you guys?

To me, summer is burning my tongue on the most amazing clam chowder in the world. It's bothering the lifeguards at the ponds, and scratching at the bug bites around my ankles until I get my hands on some Witch hazel. (I like using witch hazel more than any other kind of itch-relief because of the name!)It's also leaning over the bow of a speedboat and feeling the wind knocl my ponytail holder out as we bump over wake-induced waves.

Summer is knowing I suck at water skiing and doing it anyway, because it's a rite of passage in my family. It's flipping over when I go tubing and lake water being warmer than the air at 7 AM. It's failed all-nighters and watching Supernatural.

It's experimenting with my clothing taste and having the time to spend an hour on my makeup. It's avoiding the sun because I've never liked the look of a tan. If pale skin was prized before, it should be prized even more as we now know it's healthier to not fry in the sun.

It's walking everywhere, and sleeping over my best friends house and going from there directly to the pond. It's writing more, and better than I ever did in school. It's adding raps to my poetry.

It's jamming to Justin Timberlake and not caring what my friends think. It's jamming to EA and not caring what my brother thinks. It's not having enough books. It's going shopping because I feel like being in air conditioning, and rolling around when I do go to bed 'cause it's SO EFFING HOT!

It's cursing 'til I'm blue in the face because today's the last day of pure nothingness.

Why I Love to Write: A Lesson in Expandation

2010-09-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

I like to stretch out sentences. I discovered this in sixth grade when my English teacher said that for homework we had to expand on the sentence "The princess walked."

There's a million ways to expand that sentence. The princess walked in a meadow; she walked into her room, lonely in her tower. Maybe she didn't walk, she ran into the arms of her prince. Mine became a story of a knight waiting for her as she walked a drawbridge. She was going to be his bride because he had saved the whole kingdom from some kind of horror. Maybe it was a dragon. or an evil sorcerer. I don't know. It's not saved on my computer anymore. That one is gone now.

The point is, I made something pretty with a tiny idea. I crafted these gorgeous sentences that I can't even remember anymore. I realized that I could really write, and maybe even well. This quality was honed in seventh, and pursued in several different ways in eighth grade. Over the summer I took a writing class, which, despite being mostly worthless, I saw how people could write better than me. Which, of course, motivated me to write better than them.

For a very rare exmaple of this whole "expanding" technique: Truman Capote, the dude who wrote Breakfast at Tiffany's (Yes, it was a book firts!) write the American classic, In Cold Blood, based on a 300-word article on the murder of a Kansas family. That book was a mulit-million dollar project, and is now important enough to be required reading for the tenth graders at my school. That's expandation to the extreme, though.

Basically, to do expandation you just gotta have the drive to rework and rewrite what already exists. A novel's idea doesn't pop in at 50,000+ words. A novel starts at no more than the size of a blurb on the front flap of a dust cover. A plot will never stay exactly the same, so I wouldn't say it is the blurb itself.

Baby, it freaking works. For any writer who can't find the real motivation, (none of my friends, of course.) just try to add big words to what you have just floating around your mind. And some dialogue.

Best of luck to you all. :)

The Tweet Tweet Awards 2010

2010-08-30T12:30:00.001-07:00

Social networking is either a beautiful thing, or a God-awful one. I, for the most part, am in favor. Facebok is for friending and keeping up with people I don't see anymore and the people that I see alot, but can't live at home without stalking at least a leetle.Twitter is for celebrities, so I know when the hell to go get TI's new album Through Yourself and Back Again. (DK what I'm talking about, look a couple posts down.) And for funny random tweets, and further stalking Sam. Blogs are for expression, YouTube was for comedy, and Formspring. Formspring wasn't good for anything, but highly amusing.

PS: no linking. There would be a brain boggling amount of it, so no.

Today, I shall be presenting, KIMJA'S TWEET TWEET AWARDS!

Most Random: Austin Kleon, austinkleon Blackout poet. INVENTED the genre. Check him out. Just google him. Something will pop up.

Most Intelligent: Samantha Nyx, the lovely writer with perfect grammar. If you correct something here, Sam, BLAH TO YOU. By the way, she owns the URL, nerdysam.com. GO CHECK HER out!!! I love that girl.

Keeps In Touch: Bridget Kaitlin, breezybee97, she is an amzing singer and an apiring musician. Check her out on YoutTube, where her username is the same as Twitter, and on iTunes where it's just Bridget Kaitlin.

Best Group: Thriving Ivory. Did you even have to guess. Go look for them of Facebook, twitter, iTunes, FYE, whatever. <3 <3 <3

Smartest Username: Keshasuxx. It's a verified account, so those who love her will follow. Those who hate her won't even notice the verified and follow. She ACTUALLY did aomething smart. WOW!

Saddest: Those people who make Twitters for fictitous chracters. FAIL. Besides the one for Stewie Grfiin. FUNNY!

Why Do I Follow Them?: Justin Bieber. WHY???? To laugh at him? Probably.

Best Venue: Mohegan Sun. EPIC HOTEL.

Best Washed-Up B-List Celebrity: Devon Werkheiser, Devonwerkharder Remember Ned's Declassified? HIM. He's a musician now,and really good. On YouTube he's WerkingItOut.

Funniest: The Fabulous author of an all-time favorite, Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes: MaurrenJohnson. (BTW, the lack of a space is INTENDED.) Go type her name into the address bar with a ".com" The website's even better.

A close second will be rewarded to Michael Buckley, Buckhollywood, known on YouTube as WHATTHEBUCKSHOW, celebrity gossip. The only kind I can tolerate. And thumbs up for being open and able to joke about his sexuality.

The Grand Tweet: Shane Dawson, shanedawson. You guys HAD to see that coming. If you didn't, a good *facepalm* is in order. I know you know of him and his work. And if you don't... BANISH. If you do, I think you can agree that his humility is very admrable for someone who has met so much success. So, I really do appreciate the way he treats his fans, and it's not just a bas thing.

BTW, if you care. I'm Kimmanzilla. ;)

I'm sorry I've been doing stupid stuff, promotional stuff instead of my own thinking. I just have a mass book review and then we'll see some thinking. 'Cause then school will have begun. And I will have to think.

Eew. But for you guys, it's worth it.

Internet FUN!

2010-08-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

So, after getting inspiration from someone on Facebook, I went on Urban Dictionary and looked up the names of some of my friends. (Mostly writing buddies!) I just had to share...

Kimberly
cute, beautiful, and intelligent. enjoys going off topic and will laugh at anything and anyone without a care. she has nice wavy hair that has nver been dyed because shes so real but then again she wears contacts but its ok vbecause she is kind of blind without them (HAHAAHA). has a nice round ass, if you've ever been at the beach with her...lucky lucky. she attracts everyone, male, female, dog, trashcan. i love kim!

Samantha
Usually a name for a person that is a walking Goddess. Gorgeous to the maximum, fun to talk to, easy to befriend with a sexy booty. Often pulls off the innocent act but she can definately get around.
Damn, that Samantha is too cute for words.
You know Samantha? Lucky asshole.

Nadine
The most beautiful, amazing and intellectually inclined girl in the world. Brings hope to others that want her, because that's what her name means in French. Is extremely hot, and good at anything she does
Nadine, oh my god.

Ricky
An extremely attractive individual who sets the standard for others by being completely and undeniably amazing in every way possible. Worshiped for having the finest ass in America, and getting the most wanted action from girls.
Basically Ricky is a complete beast.

Jon
John. (Gay version)
Jon. (Awesome Version)
Someone who is loyal to all of his friends. Who always has something funny to say. Someone who can always give you some great advise. You should be very proud to be with friends with a Jon.

Jarod
1. The act of trying to make sure that people know that you are right because you are usually right. 2. To be all encompassing, well rounded, well accomplished

Alex
A manly man. Alex is a name of Greek origin. Greatness and power will come upon this person. Warning,no warning he will give.
" Alex you're so freakin' awesome".

Ninja
Ninjas can divide by zero
- ninjas dont walk the ground moves for them
- when ninjas do pushups, they dont push themselves up, they push the world down
- when it rains ninjas dont wet wet, the rain gets ninja
- Ninjas do not sleep, they wait.
- Ninjas tears cure cancer, too bad they never cry
- Ninjas make onions cry
- Ninjas gave cats nine lives so they could kill them more.
- Bullets dodge ninjas
- Ninjas can predict the songs on there ipod shuffle
- Ninjas taught kool aid man how to break though walls
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects ninjas could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Nerds
noun: The most dangerous people in the entire world. Nerds have invented machine guns, assault rifles, armor piercing ammunition, high explosives, napalm, tanks, anti-personnel mines, torpedoes, cannons, surface-to-air missiles, fighter aircraft, bombers, submarines, destroyers, battleships, aircraft carriers, chemical and biological weapons, nuclear bombs, and ICBMs
Every weapon of mass destruction ever concieved of or built was concieved of or built by nerds.
Guys with IQ higher than your weight.

Writers
Writers write, right? Right. Write.

Blogger
"Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a referral on a more popular blogger's website to set the lesser blogger's ego into orbit. Then God forbid a blogger gets mentioned on CNN. If you thought it was impossible for a certain blogger to get more pious than he was, wait until you see the shit storm of self-righteous save-the-world bullshit after a network plug. Suddenly the boring, mild-mannered blogger you once knew will turn into Mother Theresa, and will single handedly take it upon himself to end world hunger with his stupid links to band websites and other smug blogger dipshits." - Maddox

My God, I love Urban Dictionary. I'm sorry I haven't done any real in-depth blogs in so long, but, hey, I'm bouncing back. I swear, I didn't do any blogger for nearly a month, and just recently I was going through some people's blogs and thinking, Why don't these people blog more? Then I realized what a hypocrite I am. I hope you guys are happy I'm back, and that you like the random blogging. After I finish reading everything I bought at Borders this summer, I'll do post on what is AHMAIZING and what should be burned at 451 Fahrenheit, if you catch my drift.

Enjoy the sneak peek? ;)

My Ongoing Obsession with THRIVING IVORY

2010-08-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

This is OVERDUE. Extremely. My obsession began midway through seventh grade and I begin ninth in about three or so weeks...

I LOVE THRIVING IVORY.

Who are they, you say? *GASP* They are the most amazing band ever. I'd say that they're Alt-Rock-ish. I can't find the genre on their Myspace page. Whatever. I know I'm right. They're an acquired taste, by the way. If you know them, you know what I mean, SAM. You can kind of see the band's personality through the group photos they take.

Now it's up to you to read the picture. I, personally, like to do that. I spend endless hours stalking Flickrs or looking in magazines at the models with angry expressions. If you don't, then just look at the pic, I guess. You have Drew, then Paul, then Clayton, then you have Scott, and then some dude I don't know with swoopy hair.

But, the thing I adore about them is their lyrics. I mean, I love that the most. They take brainpower and deep thought to decipher. The words are just GORGEOUS.

When burning bridges won't come down/Like symphonies without a sound/I spend these nights counting stars/And wonder if there's hope for me out there--Runaway

This is to one last day in the shadows/And to know a brother's love/This is to New York City angels/And the rivers of our blood/This is to all of us--Angels on the Moon

hey lady said i dont want to fight/like pretty girls need cowboys/i need you here tonight--Hey Lady

Like weeping violins, you tremble and you shake--For Heaven's Sake

*Lyrics from SongMeanings.net

I would go on, but then the whol post would be a bunch of lyric pieces.

I also love their piano bits in the beginning of songs like, Love Alone and Unhappy. Are they called loops? I think so. I don't know anything about the piano, despite the whole piano theme in CRAVED. (Which, by the way, if you didn't know, is my current WIP novel...Look in my archives for a couple teasers.) But, I love it.

They're a Vh1 You Oughtta Know artist...or band...or whatever.

I'm ever so sorry that I am not as daintily articulate as Scott (who is the main songwriter) is. Perhaps I simply was not meant to be devastatingly lyrical. Oh well.

But, you know, check them out on Myspace, on YouTube, (they're amazing enough to have a VEVO, BTW) Facebook or Twitter. Go buy a song on iTunes. Their new album Through Yourself & Back Again comes out next month, on the fourteenth. Their debut album is just called Thriving Ivory. But the cover is SO pretty. :)

Now, why are you still on this page? Go to various other pages I have mentioned. NOOOW!!!

THE BIGGEST DEAL SINCE J-MAC!

2010-08-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

*This is not Fangirl-ness. In Fangirl-land, there is Jensen Ackles, Michael Bublé, and (DUN DUN DUN) Shane Dawson. <3

What's the most controversial issue in America right now?

Is it the oil spill? Abortion, Michelle Obama's arms?

NO!

It's a little boy from Canada.

Now, I've been looking to do this blog post for a while. Armed with about ten minutes worth of research, a Twitter following, bothering to actually listen to at least part of his two albums, and the constant mocking from just about everyone on Earth, I am READY.

It's J-J-J-JB, yeah! Sorry. I did all of my research right now... But, Justin Bieber.

Now, the usual hate:

-His hair.
-He wears makeup.
-His high voice.
-His use of the word "Shawty," which is actually not a word.
-His hoodies.
-He's ugly.

*This is a limited list, as I do not feel like going to hell and back today. Maybe if I was in a worse mood.

Now, I will defend him. This not something anyone, even if they went to law school, and have extreme stubborness should attempt. I am only able to do this because I have watch My Cousin Vinny so many times and VINNY'S EPIC!

Now, I'm not a fangirl. AT ALL. But I really think that they way so many people treat him is just mean. If you know me, despite my hypocrisy, I really don't like cruelty. I believe that a society as advanced as our own should just be able to wish others well, and move on.

To share some reseach... His mom was a pregnant teen, he almost didn't end up with his career because of his mom and something to do with Chritianity. Irony?! Justin Timberlake (the ORIGINAL Justin!) and Usher fought over him, and he's actually a human male.

Now, hmm, I think his hair is so CUTE. C'mon, the flip? I LOVE THAT. Actually, back in school I have a friend with that hair. I used to make him do the flip all the time.

The makeup? Well, all celebrities wear makeup, but the clearly visible deep pink lip gloss in one of his videos? Undefendable. But, still, only a minor misdemeanor.

The high voice? No one can help their voice. You hate him because of his voice? Listen to Michael Jackson.

Yeah, that shut you up.

The "shawty" is also undefendable, as he is a little white boy. Same for the hoodies. But, did you know, I love the cardigan style on almost ALL guys? I do.

Is he ugly? Well, he's better-looking than just about every guy in my grade.

So, there you go. Now...

Now, do your thing. Kiss it, give it the finger, shrug your shoulders, or curse him out. I really don't care. But let me know in a comment please?

Hollinsummer and The Breakfast Club! :)

2010-08-12T23:26:00.000-07:00

Hollins University.

I went to their summer program for girls, Hollinsummer. There are no pictures. I know, I promised them and I'm sorry. But when I got there my camera would not turn on due to a constant lens error. Pay $200.00 for a decent camera and it flatlines in less than a year. F#@K YOU!

But, I digress. There are no writing tips. I learned almost nothing, besides the fact that I had the coolest girls ever in my class. And it was really awkward because I was the only freshman among, well, every other high school grade. Now, I won't say it was a bad class. I just don't think it was right for me.

Now, psych was another story. My teacher was Dr. George Ledger and he was epic. Like, Mr. Power/Mr. Woolsey epic, for those who know what I'm talking about.Really, I kid you not.

The discussions every day were so thoughtful, and you wouldn't believe the things beyond a person's eyeliner. The girl with the pretty smile may be a sleepwalker and maybe the girl over there is a closeted lesbian back home, and that one has a boyfriend who doesn't treat her the way he should. And you'd never know.

So, babe, I got my money's worth, along with a $1,000.00 scholarship to use, should I go to Hollins University. I know that's, like, nothing, but it basically pays back the cost of the camp, which is about $1,300.00.

Now, that's not all there is, in terms of classes. There's pottery, painting, cooking, movie-making, photography, modern dance, forensic chemistry (CSI, anyone?), and what I call the WTF classes. Examples? Leadership, So You Want to be President. Need I say more?

And, for my friends who hate gym as much as I do, you DO have to take a spot. But, hey, it was only an hour and fifteen minutes. I took soccer, which I shouldn't have done, I admit. But I LOVED the coaches. You see, my mother and father were so amused by the idea of me playing a sport that they wanted to film it. So they could mock me. We told one of the coaches that and he said he'd film it. Jerk. And It was even harder to detest him because he gave us Popsicles. GRR...

They also have, um..., volleyball, golf, rock climbing, swimming, tennis, maybe basketball...I don;t remember. Sports mean nothing to me.

Next important? Food, then rooms, then traveling shit. Then I'll wrap it up.

Food! We ate breakfast from 8-9, then lunch was 12-1, then dinner was 5-6. It was essentially a cafeteria. (I mean, we WERE at school.) We had a bunch of options and they ALWAYS had dessert. Bottom line: the food was pretty bearable.

Rooms. You had a room, in a hall with other girls. You shared your room with one other girl and the bathroom with the rest of the hall. Six, seven toilets, three showers. You had a counselor for your hall who showed you everything. She was you go-to girl. I loved mine. She was so sweet. :) You had to be in your room by eleven. You had to be "quiet" 'til seven.

Oh! I forgot! You had homework...but it was never bad.

And I only encountered one mean girl. Like, hideously mean. :P BITCH! PS: Claire is a fat girl's name! But everyone else, was really cool, really smart, beautiful, unique, original, and had great style.

Now, travel. I live in New York, about an hour north of the city. The camp is in Roanoke County, Virginia, about an eight-hour drive from home. We stayed overnight in Maryland in the scariest motel ever. The people, my God, they were the most stereotypical people I have ever seen. Cree-pyyy.

So, in a nutshell, I'd go again. But take different classes. I'd probably take the cooking class, or an art class. And rock climbing. And, if I managed to convince you, and you are one of my girlies, I'll go wit' chu. PARTAY LIKE A RAWKSTAH!

Oh my. It looks like I just spelled it in, like, Farsi.

And to my Hollins girls, I love you. And DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME....! ;)

SHOUT-OUT TO:
Morga, Kiki, Zaida, Sarah, Amanda, Erin, Tapley, Elizabeth, Celeste, Haley, Sam, Nicole, Captain Awesome, Maria, Charlotte, and if I forgot you, comment below and yell at me!

Some More Story!! (Feel free to leave comments of critique, or positivity!)

2010-08-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

Mallory knew she was damaged. She could accept it, too.

The endless hours of piano practice, and the early mornings where she swam laps until she was so tired she nearly drowned. She cringed at the thought of cramping fingers. She played even more now, though, the fingers accepting their fate.

From her chair with the attached desk, she looked. She looked at that glorious man, his eyes snapping with good energy, a smile hinting at the edge of his deliciously sexy lips. She knew he wasnt unhappy. She didn't want him to be either. No one deserved the parents that screamed when she asked to go a school dance. The ones that homeschooled her so she would become the best pianist of all time. Or the most socially awkward, manly-bodied girl this college had ever seen.

This would never have been her first choice. She knew another college would give her a musical scholarship too. But her she was, forty minutes from home, surprise visits so easy. All-girls to prevent distractions. Mallory looked at Professor Ridger. So much for no distractions.... She smiled dreamily.

Another girl, Christa, spoke. "Professor, it's past noon."

Mallory looked at the other girls. Some looked bored, tired, anxious, and hungry. It was time to eat. He quickly dismissed the class with an apologetic smile. She stood up, about to leave with the other girls, when a tiny, dirty-blonde woman ran in.

"Hey Lars--you forgot something," she smiled as she spoke. She held out a brown paper bag with "Ridger" written on it in swirly cursive.

"Thanks, babe," he gave her a light kiss on the lips. She seemed to glow with the simple show of affection.

"You had better," she said putting a hand on her stomach, which bulged slightly out of her dress, the plum-colored cotton fluttering in the air conditioning. Mallory's breath caught under her tongue. She slung her bag over one shoulder and walked out of the room as quickly as she could without her chunky white sneaker squeaking on the hardwood floors. She flew down the stairs, and out the door. She slid into the grass, her back against the rusty red brick of the hall.

She knew he loved another. The pictures on the desk. A woman in dazzling white, next to him. The only word that would come to her mind was horribly old-fashioned: dashing. She knew he couldn't love her. Not publicly, not now. He was still her teacher, though there wasnt much he could teach her; her piano skills were superior to his, she knew. Something she could blame on the obsessive parents, too selfish to see her.

The people who saw only a beautiful girl sitting at a piano in a sold-out arena. A beautiful rhapsody, or perhaps a symphony. Her broad swimmer's body was not beautiful or delicate. The failure choked her up; wouldn't ever be what her parents desired of her. She grabbed at her dry, short black hair. It was so ugly.

But, at that moment, it was not why she felt distraught. That woman, she was petite, with dark blonde hair that curled just past her shoulders. Beautiful. Everything she wasn't.

That bothered Mallory the way a rainstorm would bother a spider building a web. Almost terminally.

A Leetle Bit of My Current WIP for Nadine!!

2010-07-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

I didn't find her. I knew later I was supposed to, but I didn't. Two girls came in for extra help. One I assisted at the classroom's piano, the other I sent to a private practice room, I'd send for her in a little while.

The room that girl decided to walk into was simply chance.

A scream that's pitch far exceeded the insturment's highest note flooded through the hall. Hurried footsteps clomped down the stairs and the hysterically sobbing girl flung herself back into the room, ending the warmup, Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, on a hideous note. We jumped from the stool and ran to her. I braced my hands on her shoulder, trying to calm her incredible shaking.

"What? Christa, what is it," the other girl nearly screamed. I saw the volume add to my student's shock and terror, which would make it that much harder to remedy the situation.

I turned and shushed the girl. I looked back at Christa and said, as calmly as I could, "What was upstairs?"

She continued to cry for another full five minutes. After she calmed, one glistening tear stil sat on the tip of her nose, refusing to fall. She whispered, with a voice so low an haunting that it froze the very marrow of my bones, what was there.

I saw that girl, THE girl again. Her black hair, hanging straight and dry on her shoulders, her dead gray eyes, her androgynous form contesting mine. I remembered those cold eyes glinting with their only emotion: insanity. I saw her chasing my car, her fingers curved like claws.

My voice dropped to Christa's level, "What?"

She looked at me, her eyes widening. But it was okay, her eyes were a vivid blue, not gray.

"Call the police."

Yes, Yes, Kim Can Be Fangirlyy

2010-07-27T08:26:00.001-07:00

Okay, okay. I'm not fangirly for almost everything, but there are some things that cannot be denied in their awesomeness/sexiness:

--Shane Dawson. Can you not love his emo hair and cross-dressing skits?

--Billy Joel, but I've mentioned him before. He is awesome, but I do not find men over 60 attractive. (Patrick Swayze was 57, God bless his soul.)

--Michael Bublé. Amazing voice, amazing sexiness, and an amazing concert. (Better than Billy Joel!!!)

Yeah, and he looks soooo good in suits. *drool*

--The show Supernatural, or, more specifically Jensen Ackles!!! He exudes sexiness, but to watch him act....You can see the talent and amazingness.

The list goes on...

But not far.

It stops efore the J's, like...Justin Bieber, Jonas Brothers, etc...

Hey Guys! Here's the thing...

2010-07-10T07:38:00.000-07:00

HEY GUYS,

I'm going to camp eight hours away from the 11-23. I'm leaving today and I'll be back on the 24th!!! I promise, pics and everything. And don't bother coming to rob my house, people are still here. My dad and bros...

I'm taking a writing course and I'll reveal my amazing college writing skills/tips when I get back. Even though Sam and Nadine don't need them, yeah, yeah.

SHUT UP!!

Love you all forever,

Kim.

PS: Sam, I got shiver. This better be worth it.

PSTHESECOND: I'll try to post during my free time. No promises, though. I have alot of work.

To the Sky, From the Earth...

2010-06-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

I think I already told you guys that I'm, like, totally into astro-stuff. Basically, I think everything beyond us is insaney epic. So, I would like to inform you of something that would be considered cool by someone who isn't necessarily into that kind of thing.

I have a brother. His name is Eric. He is very cute and on Saturday my wittle baby bruver turned 10!!! (I'm still in shock.) He wanted to go to NYC and to the museum of Natural History.

Well, they have these soecial exhibits, like any other museum and my brother wanted to go into this one called Journey to the Stars.

Ah-frickin'-mazing. It was in the Hayden Planetarium and it was narrated by Whoopi Goldberg. (In case you kids were wondering where she went after those doughnut commercials.)

First of all, the quality was amazing. If I wasn't breathing I could've believed that I was truly in space.

Here's what I learned (Or an extension of what I already knew):

-We depend on the sun because it is the closest star.
-In space there a bunch of things called dwarves. White, brown...
-The sun will die out in about 4 billion years, but by then we will have evolved in ways that we can only imagine now, or have already left planet Earth.
-Supernovas are the explosions of giant stars.
-The sun is actually a yellow star, one of medium heat, rather than a red one (lowest heat) or a blue one (highest amount of heat)
-The sun has about four layers. At the very center there are a bunch of atoms that move thousands of miles an hour and smash into each other CONSTANTLY and that's how the sun has continuous energy.
-Magnetic waves from the sun's radiation can move at 1 million miles an hour.

Productive day. Whoopi also went over the planets and when she didn't say Pluto there was a murmur of "Poor Pluto" throughout. :(

You still gotta learn stuff in the summer.

and soo it begins...

2010-06-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

Summer is usually met with excitement. That turns into fear when my mother goes on a rant about whycan'tyoudothis whywon'tyoudothat, cleanthatup, watchyourbrother, DO--NO--DON'TDO!!!

I forgot. I think that everyone does. I just heard her yelling. Maybe I should let some family shit off of my chest.

MY BROTHER (LITTLE): Very cute. Perhaps a tad spoiled, as he is the youngest, and definitely the favorite of my mother. Mommy'sbabybabybaby. If you ask sissysissysissy, she thinks it's a load of bull. Mommy did it twice, why is it so special now? More or less, it bothers me that he is ten and stills relys on mommy, nana, or Kimmy to get him a glass of milk. I say no, I'm the one at fault. Sorry Mom. I know he's your baby but he's too old to crawl into bed with you in the middle of the night.

MY BROTHER (OLDER): Quiet. Video-game addicted. Spoiledspoiledspoiled. Does what he wants and is rpoud of the number of times he has failed stuff in Italian. Noms on money the way I like to nom on Oreos. Nummmynummy. He's a meatheaded wrestler, huge, muscular and mean. HE IS MEAN. Intentionally nasty towards me, wholly depricating of me. He just doesn't know what to do with himself, I think.

MY MOTHER: Generally a very nice lady. But, you know, every mother has her hard spot. NO don'tdothis, dothis, cleancleanclean, Ihatetoclean. In my opinion, if she didn't want to do this, then she shouldn't have gotten married. Or she shouldn't have stopped working and gotten us a nanny OR just shouldn't've had kids. She also tends to exaggerate, rip ot half of my right eyebrow, and go iver the line when teasing me.

MY FATHER: The strict one. TheonlyreasonKimmygotBillyJoelticketsisbecauseDaddydidn'tshowupuptoherFatherDaughterDanceforGirlScouts. He will blame my mother for anything that goes wrong and it pisses me off. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even see my face. He just wants me to excellexceedbebetterthantheotherpeople.

Now, I know I'm not a perfect person ton live with. I have my moments, my funks, my emotions and styles anf ticks and ways of doing things. Sometuimes I just get tired of worrying that it;s just me.

I love my family VERYYYY much, but they do drive me insane like any other family. WEe are what we are, and sometimes it get frustrating to deal with.

*PS...THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY FAMILY IS ME!!! THEY ARE THE FIRST PEOPLE I WILL DEFEND AND THE PEOPLE I LOVE THE MOST IN THE WORLD.

Which version of "Grotto" do you like the best?

2010-06-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

1st Person

The candles glowed, but when I stuck my hand to the flame of one, I felt no heat. Fog rolled onto the rocky surface of the underground cave and spread a layer onto my skin. Yet it didn’t feel stifling. It felt cool, wintry. It was wet, like early morning, same as the rest of this unfamiliar shoreline. I stepped closer the translucent lake creating the foggy tendrils, and as I lifted one I heard a seam rip.
I swirled around as I was inches from falling off of the edge of the cliff jutting out of the side of the grotto. My miraculous spin was not my own work, though.
Hands caught me, holding to my waist with an anxious fierceness. They held me tighter as I was spun around. I no longer faced outward at the mysterious lake. I now stared at a jagged side of the cave. The hands loosened their grasp around me, and I could feel the body of a man behind me.
At the same moment, we both sighed. My savior’s was filled with an obvious relief. I could feel the emotion surround me, but it did not penetrate my mindset. My sigh was in irritation at my own negligence.
After both of our exhales concluded, I was let go. I took a couple of steps away from this hero in an underworld. I turned to look at him, to know and remember him.
My glance lasted scarcely longer than the time it takes to stretch your arms out in the invitation of an embrace. He did just that, but went a step further than a simple request. He pulled me to his chest and I rested my head against him, momentarily shocked by this whole experience, and tired.
I trusted him in these few fleeting seconds, with my own life. Even though I did not know this secretive man of caverns, candles, and lakes.
He whispered in my ear, “I prefer you not drown while with me.”
And I knew who he was.

2nd Person
Candles glow all around you but as you raise your hand above a flame you feel no burn. Mist rolls onto the rocks around you and is pasted to your skin. But it doesn’t feel unpleasant. It feels cool, a pleasing zephyr in this bizarre underground world. You step closer to the lake which the steam rolls off of and step on the hem of your garment.
You turn around, seconds before you would have tumbled off of the edge of this tiny grotto. But that majestic twirl, you did not do.
Hands catch you at the waist and spin you until all you see is the rough side of the cavern. You and your savior both let out sighs, deep from the way each of you held your breath when you almost toppled over. You can tell his overflows with relief. Yours reflects the annoyance you feel toward your own disregard.
The hands that pulled you from a very dangerous loosen after a moment of initial uncertainty; you step back. You break his grip on your waist and take another step back to look at his face.
You have about five seconds--not enough time to analyze or recognize--before he presses you against him in an embrace which hides his face from view. The glance you get, though, was not one you immediately identify. But it was not completely unfamiliar, either.
You feel a recognizable sense of trust, sweetly lingering between the two of you. This feeling is one you’ve only felt once before. You know it; him.
And that assumption grows beyond doubt when he whispers in your ear, “I prefer you not drown while with me.”

3rd Person
The candles glowed, but as she stepped closer to a single, enormous stick, it didn’t feel hot. Mist rolled on the rocky surface and was pasted to her, but it didn’t feel sticky. It felt cool. It felt damp, like this underground kingdom. She stepped closer to the lake producing the cool steam, and tripped over the hem of her skirt.
She whirled around seconds before she would have fallen off of the ledge in the cavern. But the turn was not her work.
Hands caught her at the waist, and frantically spun her until she saw the jagged edge of one “wall in this grotto. After, a moment which each spent letting out a sigh. Of relief, for her unknown savior but she spent that breath in annoyance towards her own stupidity.
After that moment, the hands, which stayed in place, let her go one step form him. She turned to look at his face, breaking the grip he still held.
She had no more than several seconds to glance because he suddenly reached out and took her into his arms, blocking her view. But what she saw were familiar features with a stranger’s expression. No matter, she knew she had seen the face before.
She was sure.
But all doubts erased from her mind when he whispered in her ear, “I prefer you don’t drown while with me.”

Highlights of the Past Year...The best One By FAAAAR in This Dump...

2010-06-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

Highlights of my school year:

-Alex and Sam.
-Jonny
-Being Milky-White in the school play, Into the Woods.
-Having the Woolzinator.
-getting a new lunch group, Jarodfish, Fishy, Ben, Kieran, etc.
-Washington DC trip.
-Seeing Wicked.
-LitMag.

Growing up.

I'm finishing up middle school, and it really was an amazing ride. I tried things I never thought I would, had some of the worst pain in my life, learned what RESPECT means, and how I deserve it, and I got plain old smarter.

So, yeah, (insert name of middle school here) you weren't totally unsuccessful. Just don't shove it in my face. Dudn't mean I like you.

SUMMER: I GOT THE FEVER!!!!

2010-06-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

SUMMER, SUMMER!!!!!

Is there not a child in the world whom the word strikes a feeling of pure glee into?

NO. And if you are a child that isn't AT ALL excited about summer...

Well, go away. Weirdo. No one likes you. (JK!...Not really.)

In this school year I have managed to really create a person I kinda like. I do well in all of my classes and I'm respectful (mostly...) of my teachers. You just suck as a teacher if I am CONSTANTLY talking in your class. (Which doesn't happen.)

I'm a cardigan girl, too. A real dweeby dresser. I raid my mommy's closet for cool pieces. I actually have worn dresses to school. I'm a less intense Rachel Berry. I'm over the whole knee sock scene. I love wearing flowy skirts. (By which I mean flowy materials, not hit-the-ground length.)

I'm a tad weight obsessed. The torture I endured as a little kid at the hands of my older brother have left me permanently scarred. My birthday was on the 14th and my mom bought me a pair of shorts that fit me perfectly. Now, scarcely more than two weeks later they were sliding down my hips all day in school. I don't know how it happened. My bathing suit looked better on me, too.

Confusion much?

Upon my graduation (and most probably beforehand) from middle school I will become the girl who exercises constantly. No, I don't have an eating disorder, and I know that overexercising CAN be bad. It's just that I live so damn far away from everyone else. If they get to be less than a block from our hangout (a pond which smells like crap, but we swim in anywhoo) I have to be a mile.

But I dun rully care. I feel so much better. It's really my self-esteem upper. How my hair looks doesn't matter if it's always under the water. If I go out maybe how it smells matters, but really...

I can't wear makeup if it runs down my face. And really, my bikini body? I'm fourteen. I admit I do have baby fat. 'Cause I'm still a kid. And a pretty young one, too. If someone says something about my boobs, yeah, that's really uncomfortable. Or I just make a dirty joke. What else can I do?

I also love summer because my best friend (who goes to a private school 'bout 40 minutes away) and I get to spend an almost unconditional amount of time together. :)

I think I lost track of the point I was trying to make in the last couple of paragraphs. I was going to talk about my style changing but I got caught up in my cheesy self-confidence/mention-my-boobs-and-die spiel. Basically, in several weeks I will look a Cali girl. A brunette one, though.

Thank the fucking nonexistent lord I tan.

(Oh, yas, I fergot. Any fans/followers that I may not know/know about: MAKE YOURSELVES KNOWN!!! I love and appreciates everyone so much and if you could just let me know who you areI will send you a virtual cookie.

...Sam & Jonny...I'm sorry but you don't count for virtual cookies. But I still love you both LOADZ!)

I Needz Some Help/Advice From Da Peeples

2010-05-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

I friggin' hate allergies.

Stayed up till 3 am 'cause my eyes were killin' me.

Missed school today 'cause I looked in the mirror and almost screamed. I never felt so ugly, with my face swollen, underneath my eyes purple, and my eyes tiny, wet with tears, and red.

Now my contacts are popping out of my eyeballs (and NO it is NOT cool to see because I just begin involuntarily crying)and I'm wondering, it is just these bitches??????

Any help, anyone?

I need some sleep. PLEASE.

Thanks.

I Am Just Disgusted With Our World Nowadays

2010-05-22T22:29:00.001-07:00

Hi.

It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm feeling pretty pissed. I won't go sleep until i get this off of my back.

I hate cyberbullying. I see it so much. I mean, formspring is an invitation for a bully to hurt your feelings. I checked mine today and it ending with me feeling a sense of dread for what was coming next. Then, I went to the homepage and saw what some people were saying about someone else and I was horrified. It was far worse than the one comment I got.

Then I had memories of other times I had been cyberbullied, and then just regular old bullies. And a project I had to do for Health class last semester. On the suicide of a boy named Ryan Halligan, and how cyberbullies made him KILL HIMSELF.

Just think. The world is clockwork. There are never any extra parts. We all matter. So, really, why would you try to defeat someone's purpose? Oh, that's right. You have no answer.

Copyrighting Issues, LOL. I'm Famous!

2010-05-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

I kinda made a mistake in my post with all of the pics from DC. The pic of my metal boyfriend was actually taken by Georgia. It made me laugh so I had saved into the folder with my photos from the rest of the trip and it got mixed up. That's why the quality of the picture's so much different (and better)!

As an apology for my mistake I will now promote Georgia Schunk's Flickr here . She's really an amazing photographer.

I CANNOT, DESPITE BEING A BLOGGER FOR A HALF OF A YEAR, FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THE THINGY WHERE YOU CLICK ON THE WORD AND IT DIRECTS YOU TO THE LINK!!!!

Sorry for the freakout, but I've tried it sooo many times. Anyway, my apologies Georgia.

* PS: the others ones (my teacher, Sam, The Pill, Jess, Random People, and me are all taken by me!!!)

Creation

2010-05-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

I am creation.
The balance, beauty,
And horror
Of eternity.

I have discovered:
I am my own goddess
Cast here on Earth.

I am the extension of my line,
We are the linking of fingers,
A promise forever.

I am the beginning of my children.

Yet, I am the heart of other’s prejudice.
I am the mistakes they try to write off
As miracles with deeper meaning.
I am the reputation they will overcome.

Meet each battle
with the dedication
it took me to be
creation.

MY WAAAAAAY OVERDUE POST ABOUT WASHINGTON DC--MY SCHOOL'S TRIP!!!! :D

2010-04-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah. Those are 3-D glasses. And I am the one wearing them.

So, I was in The US capital city, DC. It was actually like 3 and a half to 4 weeks ago!!!! No internet connection!!!! AUGH!!!

But here are the RELEVANT pictures:

The lovely and talented Ms. Georgia Schunk. We called all attractive men on the trip "squirrels" and spoke with British accents. Proof of her awesomeness.

My new, tall, statuesque boyfriend. That is SOME hot metal ass! LOLZ

Random people.

I'm losing track of the pictures I'm putting on here but I think this one is Mr. B?
At our dance we gave each other WTF looks when my friend and the teacher standing next to each other started to DANCE together. Ugh. Weird.

Sam, my always-has-been-and-always-will-be blogging inspiration. <3

Angry Jessica in my beautious camera's sunset setting.

And the only thing that can top Jess is......!

In my defense, at the time of this picture's taking I was overheated, underested, tired from walking miles and miles in Michael Kors, underfed (the food the whole time sucked) and I'm a middle schooler. And I found it something to giggle about.

Willow

2010-04-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm going to recommend you read:

Willow by Julia Hoban.

I haven't read a book this good in a while. Not since When She Hollers by Cynthia Voight.

But, this is really such an intelligent book. Not just the plot of the story, which is actually a love story, twisted by the fact that the main character, Willow, self-injures after being the driver in a hideous car accident that claimed the lives of her parents.

So, Willow moves in with her older brother, his wife, and their infant daughter. And the relationship between her and her brother is tense and frayed, which causes Willow even more pain. Then she meets Guy.

He's sensitive, he's smart, he's into anthropology (the field into which her parents and brother are, or were, in), actually, he took a class taught by her brother, and he KNOWS about her after their, like, second meeting. And he's just so CONCERNED. And, as a girl, I think that's just incredibly cute and sweet that he sticks by her and cares about her even though he knows that she's do effed up. (I didn't check off the "uses curse words" thing while creating my blog so I try to avoid using that word if I can...Don't think I'm lame!!!!!)

And really, how it all plays out is so sweet. But it's told in this chilling kind of third person. There's no hiding, no pretending. Everything just...happens.

And I really think you should read it. My crappy book review is really not doing it any justice. Otherwise I know you'd be dying to go the Borders Ink (the teen section of Borders.) In which case pick up The Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti, Runaway by Wendelin Van Draanen, then go over to the Adult Lit section and get a copy of The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux. (A POTO post WILL come!!! I'm obsessed!)

Now, back to Willow.

No, not really, I just didn't want you to forget with the crapload of recommended/required reading load I just piled on for you.

Just remember, it's only because I love you.

It's Been Gone So Long That I Forgot How Great It Is...

2010-04-28T20:30:00.001-07:00

You know that feeling of a crush?

Not the blushing mad leave-me-alone-I-don't-want-to-tell-you part, but the part where no one even suspects anything? The part where almost-love is still pure?

God, I love love.

And I'm probably being so weird by blogging about this, but as long as I have it I just want to be HAPPY. I want to feel that fantastic, lovely, charming feeling.

I haven't felt this happy feeling since my last boyfriend broke up with me unexpectedly. I was shattered for a while. By the time I managed to bounce back there wasn't really a guy who I was interested in. Most of the guys in my grade are immature, active in douchebaggery, or just plain stupid.

I don't like stupid people. To all of my friends, I love you because you ARE NOT stupid. Because you have regular old smarts, and because you're smart enough to at least realize SOME of your self-worth.

So, yeah. My standards are a little too high for this town. Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world.

I only live a minute from the train station. :D

But I'm just so blissed out.

And who is he?

That's my secret.

CVS ADVENTURE!!!!

2010-04-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

So, so long my loves...

Mi dispiace.

Today I shall talk about my epic trip to CVS.

Soooo FUNNY!!!!!!

So, on the bus home My friend...let's call her Alia, yeah, that works, decided to go CVS, and by "go" I mean "walk through the busiest intersections in our town to go and buy Arizona green tea."

So I went home, told my mom my plan, she gave me a condition. I agreed, got money, changed into my black Converse high tops (from a pair of flats by Michael Kors) an went to meet Alia.

We walked about half a mile after we met up, and the bus for the intermediate school went by. Alia waved it down and it stopped. Our middle school bus driver was driving it. He agreed to drive us to CVS because he was really cool. He had to drop off two other little childrens first, though. then he dropped us off. We were talking about how shiny the head of one of our teacher's is. :)

Nothing too eventful happened there until we saw...DUN DUN DUN, the evillest teacher in our school.

And then Alia told me that one of the old guys (60 years about)was checking me out.

PERV!!!!!

My condition: I had to ask the manager if our Girl Scout Troop could sell our cookies there at a booth sale tomorrow. Manager wasn't there. We talked to the assistant manager.

We walked home, and when going through a busy intersection, while I was safely on the other side, Alia had dropped her phone IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND IT BROKE!!!!! How funny is that?!

Very.

Then we walked home, and after the booth sale tomorrow, we will walk over to the Carnival that came into town and I will meet my blind date.

Ugh. Wish me luck! <3

And I Officially Am the Worst Blogger In the HISTORY of the Planet...

2010-04-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

I AM SO SO SORRY!!! 28 DAYS, I KNOW, I KOW, I SUCK BUT PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE DAY!!!!

I WAS WITH MY SCHOOL IN WASHINGTON DC FOR A WEEK AFTER AND THEN WE'VE HAD SOOOO MUCH WORK FOR FINALS, AND STATE EXAMS, AND I'VE HAD SOME VOLUNTEER PROJECTS WHICH I WILL TALK ABOUT LATER ON, I PROOOOOMISEEEEEE.

Tomorrow. I have some funny stories.

Love you, miss you ALL.

And I know youn love me, too. Otherwise you wouldn't be checking after so long.

GOTCHA!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Ciao.

Read, But Don't Give Me Hell!!!!

2010-03-29T16:00:00.001-07:00

I haven't posted a blog with a point in a while. So I think I've been blogging long enough that I am no longer introducing myself to the world of blogging.

So I'm going to talk about religion.

I am a confirmed Catholic in the church's eyes. Now, it's a great thing to have. I can get married in the church, I can be a godparent or sponsor, etc. It's fantastic that I would be able to offer that to many of the people I know and love.

Now, the certificates I have and the countless times I have sat through a sermon really don't really have anything to do with what I truly believe in my heart. I'm sure many people would agree. What I've done isn't really a commitment to a religion, but to my family.

I'm agnostic. I'm not a true Catholic. I have no problem with homosexuals, sex before marriage, and missing church on Sundays. I don't believe that a god could've seen one person and decided she alone was good enough to have his kid. And I can't believe he'd love that one kid more than the others, enough to give him special powers over the others.

That's why I decided I didn't believe. I don't want to undermine anyone else's beliefs, but that's what I believe. I know that some people say that because I made my confirmation I CAN'T be agnostic. Not true. I went through the motions, all the while believing something else. And somedays it's hard knowing I'm different from what my parents expect me to be.

I believe in science. That's another reason. There's too much evidence that puts the Bible/Torah/Other religious scriptures down the drain. THIS IS WHAT HAS BEEN PROVEN AND COMMONLY ACCEPTED BY MOST EVERYBODY!!!! They are FACTS. What we base the whole ground of our modern society on. We don't pay taxes so poverty-ridden fairies and buy their bread from the elves, right? We live in a world where we depend on facts. These are the facts.

I am not an atheist (a believer in NO god). An atheist has to know more about what they are talking about. The point of being agnostic is being unsure.

I hold onto the things I have in the Catholic community because maybe one day some kind of commitment spark will hit me. Y'know?

It's just the way it is.

Lunchtime Blogging

2010-03-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

BOO!!!!

Lunchtime Blogging!

I just got out of Social Studies in the computer. It's time for lunch and so I just went back up to the computer lab. And, as if by luck I ran into......

SAM!!! (DRAMA Sam, not blogging Sam, although I was with her five minutes ago.)

Say hi, Sam.

Hi.

'Kay. I'm just gonna randomly blog because I am absolutely pertrified of going to lunch. I really don't want to get bullied.

AND WE LOST ALL OF OUR GORGEOUS WEATHER!!!!! GRRR!!!!!

Alrighty. I'm going to tell all of you to go visit www.kewlspace57.com

Thanks!

Tech-ity Tech Tech

2010-03-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hey baby. ;)

JK, JK.

But today is not a bad day. My crappy little piece of Suburbia has been getting a hideous amount of rain and cruddy weather for the past couple of days and it's cleared up.

I know what you're thinking. 'Kim, you're talking about the weather being lovely, and yet you're sitting in front of the computer.'

Technically, yes. However, I am in tech club. So, it's nice and bright in here and when I go home later on the late bus I'll walk about a quarter mile home after walking my friend home. So, I WILL get to appreciate the weather.

And the tech teacher is the best. I love him sooo much. He's just the nicest man, and is honestly better than Santa Claus 'cause he's always around. I don't go to tech club alot, but when I do I really enjoy myself.

I could go use a Mac in the other tech teachers room, and take pics of myself like a vain girl like me would, but it's just so much more simple and pleasant. Guys are building bridges and rocket ships and airplanes (of the miniature variety, of course!) and it's really the most peaceful place I can imagine going to after school. Nobody cares.

Weird. I meant to write about spring, but I started talking about tech club.

OMG HE LITERALLY JUST GAVE ME A CANDY CANE!!!! WEIRD OR WHAT???? PROOF THAT SANTA IS RIGHT IN THIS CLASSROOM!!!!!!

So, yeah. Enjoy the weather because soon global warming (if it even exists) will take over and make it far too warm.

Quest 'e perch'e Io amo la primavera.

And tech club doesn't have just lame-o's. It's awesome.

YAY FOR ASTROPHYSICS!

2010-03-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

Io sono in TT con Signore Woolsey e Alex.

I am on the Wikipedia page for Astrobiology in another tab.

Tre cheers per Carl Sagan!!!

How cool would it be if I was an astrophysicist, a planetary scientist, or astronomer? I think it would be really cool. I am so into the Symphony of Science videos. My science teacher Mr. Wilbert, showed one to us. I went home, checked out the others and I am OBSESSED. So, three cheers for him, too!

I have to talk to him about the other videos...there's were a couple of things I didn't totally understand.

BUT YAY CARL!!!!

Nick / Blogger Tag--A Person That Means Everything To You

2010-03-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

One person in my life that...

My older brother Nick. I honestly love him soo much. I wish he liked me back, so we could be friends. I honestly think we could be awesome friends.

His awesomeness began back when I was in diapers. I remember, and this is my earliest memory, being awake in my crib at about two and a half, when my door opened and then light came on, and my older brother walked in. He helped me escape from behind the bars. The my mom came in on the two of us playing on the floor of my room.

My mother, and several other people, including my current English teacher, would call him a man of few words. Perhaps, to us, it's true now, but there was a time when we would stay awake for hours together when we would share a room. I'd stare down into the darkness from the top bunk. We would play games, word games. And if something scared me, or if someone was mean to me, I'd tell him, and he'd give me the best advice. Other times, we would watch The Simpsons. We'd sometimes spend all night laughing at the DVD sets we made our mom buy at Target.

Another time, two years ago, we were on a plane, and due to a seating fudge made by the airline we were separated from the rest of my family. I'm the kind of person who gets so uncomfortable in new situations. He said bluntly (Nick's not a fan of flowery language like me!) that I could rest my head against his arm and he offered me an earbud so I could listen to some music with him. Honestly, it's the little things that matter the most with the people you care about.

His most recent act of Big Brotherness was on Facebook. You know, digital agriculture, digital conversation, digital sibling love. I had mentioned something about how a kid who is constantly threatening me attacked me from behind earlier that day, and cut off my air supply. He said he was going to kill him.

Throughout my whole life my older brother has been there for me, as sometime to laugh with and as someone that I could truly depend on.

He was my first best friend, my first partner in crime, my first voice coach and critique. He taught my first gang symbol, and gave me my first dose of rejection from my peers.

I believe you learn something from everyone you have any kind of relationship with. I also believe I've learned the most, good, bad, shocking, and otherwise, from my brother, Nick. Because I'll never let our kinship break, no matter what.

So, if you read this, I'm tagging you.